History Is Doomed To Repeat

[Seth Horus]

It was dark. And it was small. So small. Too small. The little box left Cris with barely enough room to stand let alone move. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t get out. She was stuck. So stuck. And she was beginning to lose it. She could feel her breathing quicken as she thought about it, could feel her heart begin to beat more furiously. She could feel her vision falter, spot swimming in her eyes. The numb feeling began to creep up her arms and she rubbed them fervently, trying to push it away. She would not let these damn panic attacks get at her again! They were holding her back!

She was sick of being held back.

Her heart was trying to beat out of her chest and she couldn’t help but feel like there wasn’t enough air in here to let her be.

She closed her eyes to try and shut out the feeling, shutting them tight.

It didn’t help, it only made it worse. The moment she stopped looking, she started to hear instead. And the slightly shrill tones of her mother’s voice suddenly filled her world, though she wished the demon woman would just leave her alone! She had left her far behind, gotten out of Tulsa to escape the woman’s clutches.

It had been six years since she had seen or heard Marianne Phasee but her voice still rang as clearly in her ears as if she had just seen her moments ago. It always was that clear no matter what. “You’re not good enough. You never have been…never will be.” It always started with that. And sadly Cris had always believed it. Always. She had been raised on those words. But she didn’t listen anymore. She had learned to shut it out. Three years of training and one of active duty with no mistakes just yet helped. Helped her to shut out the feeling of not being good enough. She didn’t need to be perfect, her mother was wrong. She just needed to be good enough.

“Once a failure always a failure. You know that, don’t you, dear? Like that time you fell off your horse and broke your ankle…or the time that you couldn’t even do a simple round off when all the other girls had moved on to full twists” Her mother’s voice continued to list off her short comings. Combine that with the fluttering in her chest, and the dizzies and Cris was having major issues here. She hated that damn voice most of all. The paranoia, the shortness of breath, the adrenaline in her veins making her shaky…she had learned to push past that over the years. She had never learned how to shut up that damn voice or move on past it. It always was her undoing. Always.

“You call yourself one of the Immortal’s Champions but you haven’t heard from them at all in the past six years have you? They used you up and spit you out.”

The voice wouldn’t shut up. “Shut up” Cris muttered softly against the warm wooden panels.

“Just like everyone else” the dammed voice continued.

“Shut up!” Cris yelled, and it echoed off the walls, making her cringe which made her more dizzy which made her heart beat faster. It was a deadly chain reaction that quite often was her undoing. She could hear people on the outside of this box talking. Probably saying how much of a failure she was. “It’s true. Your so called best friend couldn’t even stay in the same state as you, had to get away didn’t she. And as for that boy of yours…”

Cris winced as her mother’s voice brought that one up. She could fill that one in all on her own. She was a fail of a girlfriend. She was twenty three now and while most girls were thinking about settling down and having kids, Cris was off damaging her body fighting and taking the risk every day that she may loose the ability to have kids in the battle field. Not that she wanted one. But she couldn’t think about that.

Couldn’t think about how he had hinted at possibly more stable things, like marriage. Or kids. Somewhere further down the road. Coudldn’t think about how the thought of settling down like that and being stuck somewhere made her heart speed up like she was suddenly in a very tiny box.

“You always have been flighty” The voice added and Cris nearly screamed. That was her undoing.

She slammed both fists on the wood that was inches away from her face, thick black finger-less gloves made of warn leather protecting the sides of her hands from any form of splinters the worn down wood may give her. “Lemme out!” she yelled.

And suddenly the box opened up. And Cris brushed past the person who had let her free with no words of gratitude, not even a passing glance as she took a deep breath and the spots cleared from her eyes. That was the one advantage to these tests. She was getting better at coming off the panic attack and being back in fighting form in moments. Her mother’s voice left her ears and she shook her head, pulling bright red strands off hair off her forehead. Her bangs had gotten plastered to her skin when the panic attack had made her sweat. Pulling the goggles up and pushing them up her forehead, she got rid of the problem.

A soft “Ahem” caught her attention and she looked up, her impossibly ice blue eyes meeting dark unreadable ones. Her captain. Right, she had to hear the results.

“Twenty eight minutes. Your best time yet, not bad Crissatha.” Cris accepted the praise with a brisk nod as she took in the captain. A hard mouth that never smiled, and Cris doubted the Cap’s mocha colored skin ever wrinkled in laughter, it was as smooth as the day she was born from what the bitchy Warrior could tell. But that just made her a good captain in Cris’s eyes. No nonsense and she worked those under her to the bone. Which was why Cris got along with her.

She’d be captain herself of another group if it wasn’t for her claustrophobia. “Thanks, Cap,” she said, acknowledging her time.

“Yeah but it ain’t good enough” said a lazy voice that nearly had Cris wincing before she had the time to turn and see who it was. She didn't even need to turn really. She had hated the girl they had assigned her from the moment she set eyes on her. The girl was lazy and always did her best to talk down to Cris like she was the one who had been her for years instead of months. She hated her partner. Her annoyingly tall partner. Electric blue pigtails flowed down past the girl’s shoulders, and dark blue eyes took in Cris. It wasn’t like the red vampyre was wearing anything exciting, just a black wife beater and black sweats to go along with her black gloves.

Freya on the other hand was wearing electric blue. Really? Again? The bitch was such a walking cliché. And that was only one of the reasons that Cris couldn’t stand to be in her company for more than five seconds. Her younger partner continued, looking contemptuously into Cris’s ice blue eyes, even though she couldn’t keep the gaze for more then a moment. Which made Cris proud, she still had it. Skills. “And that is why-"

Cris cut her off. “That is why I can’t be a captain. Never know when my charge might need me to crawl through a tunnel or whether I might be caught in a small space and need to work my way out. I know Fray,” she recited what she'd heard a thousand times and not just from Freya, flipping off the girl happily.

“Its Freya” the blue girl replied, scowling at Cris.

“I don’t care,” Cris muttered as she breezed past her partner, purposely bumping her with her shoulder.

“Ladies…” the Cap said warning the pair to behave, which Cris waved off as she made her way to the showers. She never had been good with authority.
She needed a break.

***

Ice blue eyes looked back at her as always, as she studied her face in the mirror. It was the same face that had stared back at her since she had been Changed really. Didn’t know that reds could make the change the same way but she had, right on time. Right when the rest of her year changed, and it made her happy to note that fact. Her ice blue eyes were always the same, soft cheekbones, plump full lips…her facial features never changed, except to get more extreme with age. And then there were her marks.

They spilled from the left side of her crescent like ice crystals, spreading out and taking over the left side of her face, framing her eyes and touching the corner of her lip, which gave the effect like she was always smirking, not that she minded that. It continued like frost down her neck, her shoulders….all the way down to wrap around her left middle finger like a ring. She adored those. What she didn’t like all that much was the softer marks that spilled around the ice like ones. Soft and calm, they seemed to say that she was a good hearted person underneath all that ice. And Cris really didn’t need anyone thinking that. They also changed colors on Cris’s whim. A gift from Fai Rea, one that made Cris think the whole Champion thing had been worth it after all. They were currently red and dark gray, never black, to go with her hair.

She dropped the damn towel and backed away from the mirror. She didn’t need to see the same image she always saw, she wasn’t vain and she rarely looked in a mirror. Padding over to where she had dropped her workout clothes, she deposited said items into her gym bag before rummaging around in her locker for what she wanted.

Noice.

She pulled on a damn bra because sometime in the last six years puberty had actually fucking caught up with her and gave her some form of chest, not big but still, she needed to bind it before she worked. And she only wore the damn bra when she was going home to relax. Which was what she intended to do, considering she had off of active duty for the next week due to…well it was complicated.

What was also complicated was the bizarre strap-work top she was currently pulling on. Thick black straps made up the shirt, managing to cover everything that it needed to while still making her look like she was giving something away. She liked this top, really she did. Following that were black jeans and red suspenders to match her red bangs. Some things changed. Cris’s style most likely never would.

Padding out of the locker room, Cris heard “Riot” by Three Days Grace start blaring from her bag. Sighing, she dug out the damn electronic nuisance as she left the building where she trained. Everyone always thought it was hot in Southern Cali, but really…Cris liked the weather and she greeted the breeze with a grin as she dug out her phone.

She didn’t need to check caller ID, only one person had that ring tone.

“Ya know, you could always ditch the family scene and be my partner. I hear my current one’s about to die a mysterious and horrible, horrible death,” she said by way of greeting. Another thing that would never change about Cris. Ever.

She was answered by familiar laughter that made her grin as well as she walked down the block, barefoot. She didn’t need to hear the answer to know she’d be laughing in a moment. It was the Twins after all. “Wow, you learned how to answer your phone! Congrats!” was the answer she got which made Cris laugh in turn.

“I mean it Ki, I’m gonna kill her. Grind her bones into powder and dance in her blood,” Cris said happily, waving joyfully to the now shocked couple who passed her in the street.

“You spend too much time with me,” the other girl answered Cris as she heard clatters in the background that sounded suspiciously like Ki was in the kitchen which made Cris sigh slightly. While Cris had gone on to be a Warrior, Ki had moved on to the family scene…while heading the Japanese Mafia of course. Never let it be said Miyuki Tsubasa had gone soft, she might cut out the offending tongue on the spot if she heard it. Chances were if Ki hadn’t been needed by her family at the time…they might have ended up being Warriors together and probably partners. But such was life. Ki had to lead the family business. Cris had to kick the shit out of people to forget hers.

“Yeah but I love your bad influence,” Cris said with a grin. She missed her best friend. Terribly. Hence why she talked with her a lot. Her in California and Ki in Arizona was so not okay with this Warrior girl. “So how goes punishing the wicked and all that bull?” Cris asked conversationally as she turned the corner, running the fingers of the hand that wasn’t holding the phone along the stone of the building next to her. She liked this building, it was old and pure and she opened up her affinity to get a taste of that….cleanness. It was hard to explain what she felt when she felt with her affinity. But pure things just felt…clean. Like fresh water.

“As fun as it was six years ago,” was the happy answer. Cris didn’t doubt that getting to kick ass bothered her best friend. Both of them were really violent in the House, though Ki had calmed down, as had Cris really. Age had tempered them, she supposed.

“Don’t tell me being a kick-ass Fury gets boring,” she teased.

"I can’t go running off like a vigilante anymore…I have a family to protect.” Now why did Cris feel like her best friend was gonna lecture her. Eww. Please no. Change of subject!

“I’m sure you do that awesome…yeah… So what’s up?” Cris asked, desperate to get off the subject of having a family and settling down. She was proud of Ki for doing it, more power to her and all that. Cris wouldn’t do it herself.

She didn't doubt that Ki suspected her sudden topic change, but to her credit she knew Cris well enough not to push. Instead the voice on the other end got serious and Cris already thought she knew what was going to be said. “Did you get the text from Raea too?”

Cris nodded, forgetting Ki couldn’t see her. “I did. I do know how to use my phone, remember? Whatcha think its about?”

She didn't get her answer right away, instead she had to pull the phone away from her sensitive ear ASAP. “Mizaki put that knife down! Ugh one second Cris,” Loud as it was, it made Cris laugh all over again, forgetting that this was supposed to be serious business right now.

“Like mother like daughter, Ki!” Cris sing-songed as she laughed, attempting to get that in before Ki put the phone down to get the knife away from her daughter. Cris didn’t want to know how she had gotten it in the first place. But in all honesty, she loved Ki’s little rugrats, especially the two year old Mizaki. But she just didn’t want any of her own. As long as the resposibilty wasn’t hers, Cris was good with kids. And Ki’s two amused Cris when she went to see Ki. “Say hi for me!” she yelled, and got a laugh as Ki came back on the line.

Cris swore she hadn’t smiled this much since the last time she had spoken to Ki. Not that Justin didn’t make her laugh, but it was different when it was your best friend. “Where were we? Right. I dunno Cris, Raea was cryptic.”

“I hate cryptic,” Cris muttered as she walked, crossing the street and flipping off the dude who almost ran her over. No she didn’t care that it had been a green light, Cris’s temper was still as bad as ever. Though the constant training had made her less violent at least.

“You hate a lot of things,” was the deadpanned answer.

“So do you!”

“Yeah but at least I admit it! Denial is a baaaad thing Cris. But you do know what it probably is, right?”

“Of course I do, Ki. Saving the dammed world or some such shit. Again. Fuck.”


Comments: Lol that's all I got so far! Feel welcome to change anything Ki says Miyu, she's your charrie after all!

[Pride Osiris]

The building was almost as pure as the one before it. That had been one of Cris’s demands. She refused to live somewhere impure after living in the House at its worse years ago. She had demanded to run her bare hands along every wall and surface when they had been looking for apartments, much to Justin’s amusement. He could have reassured the Realtor that had been showing them each apartment that, no, Cris was not crazy. But he didn’t. Of course. Their relationship was an odd one but it was one that Cris very much so loved. Instead of telling people she wasn’t crazy each time he made up a new reason as to why she was doing it that made her sound odd and she had gone right along with it cause she liked scaring people.

She supposed it was his way of paying her back for being abusive.

But he could take it, couldn’t he? Her abuse that is. I mean years of the whole life guard thing had made him pretty built now if she did say so herself. Which she didn’t, not out loud anyway.

If he knew her as well as he claimed he’d know she was thinking it anyway.

So it all worked out in the end.

Either way, she fit her key into the lock and turned it and felt the reassuring click that meant she was home. And that she could relax. With the person who actually made her happiest. Not that she’d ever admit that out loud either. The pair of them had had their bumps. Okay, shut up it had been a lot of bumps. But here they were. In an apartment in South Cali. And they were still an odd pair.

She turned the knob, another click that was seriously audible to her acute hearing and opened the door.

To have a chocolate bar thrown at her face.

She caught it easily with a grin and automatically tore into it. “How’d ya know I was pissed Blind Boy?” she asked with a grin before taking another bite and entering, dropping her heavy gym bag by the door and entering the apartment. Chocolate was the one surefire way to calm Cris down. It was like her drug. And if she refused it, you were really just best off running. She was rarely pissed enough to turn it down. Usually it was only when she was upset that she did.

“Today is a day ending in ‘y’ isn’t it?” was her answer and she followed the voice to find him in the little living room of theirs…doing something.

Cris raised an eyebrow. What the fuck was the boy up to now?

There was goldfish on the dilapidated coffee table that sat in the middle of the room. And he was kneeling in front of the goldfish. And Chii, her now fully grown black panther, was lounging on the dark blue couch watching this whole thing, very interested.

Cris placed her bets on Chii wanting to eat the goldfish. She’d warned Justin when he’d bought it about that. Well Chii or Lionheart who was staring at the fish just as intently. Trust Justin to buy a fish in a house full of cats.

Either way, her failish boyfriend was currently kneeling in front of the bowl. Staring at the fish that was staring at him. In some bizarre staring contest.

“I don’t want to know!” she declared, moving past the boy and his fish to go into the kitchen. Where an older dalmation greeted her. She bent and kissed his furry spotted head, and was rewarded with a bath of licking that was the same intensity as it was six years ago. She adored Casper. “I’m leaving you for your dog by the way!” she yelled back with a grin as she moved past the cutie to dig in the fridge, moving bags of blood aside to get to the pop in the back. Too much blood, not enough pop, she decided as she dug around and pulled out an extra for him.

She got a laugh from the peanut gallery. “You always say that” he called back and she moved back to the living room where…nothing had changed.

She put the pop she had gotten for him on the table and bent to kiss his cheek, which still made him turn bright red. Which was part of the reason she did it after all, it amused her. “This time I mean it," she said, not bothering to hide the affection in her voice before she bit into another piece of chocolate.

“Chocoholic,” he said, turning to actually kiss her. He had gotten bolder, but she supposed if he hadn’t in six years she would have beaten him with something by then.

“Flailer,” she replied with a grin. And then he poked her stomach with the look that said he knew he’d get in trouble for it but he had to do it for the reaction.

Automatic reaction? An eep, a jump, and a smack for him on the arm.

It would have been worse if someone hadn’t interrupted. With an obnoxious-on-purpose cough. “I so called this back in the House, by the way,” Squall said, interrupting their unintentionally cute moment. On purpose. He didn’t have to say what ‘this’ was. It was true, Squall had known long before Cris and Justin had that they liked each other. "Oh, and I'm letting Lionheart do it" he said with a grin for Justin.

Which caused Justin to spaz. And say something totally unintelligable while he flailed. Like a dork. "No you are not! I will beat you with an umbrella."

Cris smirked. "No you're not, I hid it" She had no idea what they were talking about and it didn't matter. She liked being a bitch either way.

"My flailer senses are tingling. Watch out Cris" Squall said watching his best friend. And he was right, not that they both hadn't known Justin would spaz. Though Squall had known her boy longer, it wasn't hard to tell when Justin would flail.

She liked Squall a lot. Always had, even when they were back at the House. Even when he was the one who had tried to drag her back after Calista almost ruined her being with Justin the first time. Because there had been many times they had been almost ruined. Many.

But things had changed as they always did. When Squall had gotten his marks after the change, they were black as Cris’s should have been. Did Cris get wigged out by this? No. Did she used to? Yes. Because even after everything…she didn’t like the Bird Man. Personally, she just didn’t. Same as she had, Squall had grown out his hair while his best friend had kept his short now. But he also had a tendency towards eye shadow which Cris didn’t question.

He also practically lived at their apartment even though he had his own house.

“Why do I feel like Justin’s staring contest with the fish wasn’t the only one today?” she asked, slightly suspiscious. It was also her way of changing the conversation before Justin could suspect that she really had hid the umbrella.

Squall grinned in response. “Nah, that’s a Justin thing. I tried to feed it to Lionheart.”

“You can’t feed Mr. Fuzzles to Lionheart, Squall!” Justin called back.

Enter the flailing.

Some things never changed.

Cris smiled, and decided to let the boys be before she smacked them both. Time to make a tactical retreat. And move into the bedroom, her full grown panther stretching lazily before following her.

And she locked the door behind her. She loved the boys but they drove her nuts. Ki often asked her how she put up with it. Her answer? They made her laugh, and besides, she spent most of the day working out anyway. So she only had to deal with it a small chunk of the time so it was fine with her. Mostly. She was going to ignore the fact that she often called Ki warning her that she was going to kill them both in their sleep.

But that didn’t stop her from going into the bedroom and locking it firmly behind her for a few moments peace for once.

She scratched behind Chii’s ear making her baby purr under her touch like always, her big expressive eyes closing. Chii may be fully grown now, but she’d always bee Cris’s baby. Always.

Outside the door, the fight about who could eat the goldfish and who couldn’t had progressed to who could kill the most mushrooms and Cris shook her head with a ghost of a smile.

Life had gone on really. They had been the Champions, saved things. Some of them had died and come back. Things had changed, people had been hurt and in the end…they had come out okay. And Cris was content with the way life was. She had the nutty best friends to keep her company, she was a warrior who was moving up in the ranks despite her phobia…and yeah sure she missed her friends.

The BP was too far spread out for her liking, but it had happened…and they had learned to live with it.

Until one of Raea’s visions had hit. Again. Cris pulled out her phone and scrolled to the message.

“Hey guys! I had another vision, and it’s important. Please come back to the House. There’s things we have to talk about. Besides, it’s been a while since we were all together, hasn’t it? I love you all!
Raea”

Cris shook her head. She was content with life. And now it was getting shaken up again.

Cris closed her eyes. Took a deep breath. And began to meditate.

Who knew how long she was out. She didn’t, it was hard for her to keep track of time when she zoned out like that. But it calmed her immense temper and moodiness which had gotten worse since being marked. She guessed it was due to being marked by a goddess who had once been known as Poseidon. Speaking of Fai Rea…considering the fact that she lived with her son, it had been a while since she had seen the immortal.

Not that she thought her mother’s voice was right or anything.

She had been drawn out of her meditating by the smell of something yummy…and unlocked the door, letting her nose lead her to the kitchen. Where Squall had cooked up something awesome. Hey, there had to be a reason Cris didn’t kick him out besides him being a friend, didn’t there?

And there was the fact that it made Justin happy. Which often made her happy. Which made her feel like a sap so she didn’t think about that.

Life was good. She just…wasn’t sure she wanted it to change.

((psh the ending sucks but I'll fix it later))

[ℛeesa ℒuna]

Justin had issues. Not that that was a new concept. But the issue at hand was the one that had him constantly falling off the bed. Not that Cris hadn’t helped with that issue from time to time. Like take tonight for instance.

Reds slept like the dead during the day, vampyre or fledgling. And the same was true of Cris. Plus she had a love of sleeping in.

The thing about Cris was that she either slept curled up in a little ball against whoever else was in the bed with her…or she took up the entire damn bed by spreading out and often kicking. It all depended on the dream but there was no happy medium. Like Cris during the day, Cris sleeping was all about extremes. She often ended up kicking Justin out of bed, not that he didn’t fall out just as often as she kicked him. Some twilights she’d wake up curled up in her little ball without his familiar warmth against her.

She had issues sleeping without him next to her on those days. When she was all spread out? He was on his own. But if she had fallen asleep against him, she expected to wake up the same way.

Anyway.

This was how it came to be that Cris was peering over the edge of the bed at Justin’s sleeping form. Justin’s tangled up in all the blankets sleeping form. Being that Cris had woken up taking up the entire king sized bed some how, she figured it was her fault. She’d still deny she had anything to do with it of course. Stretching like a cat, Cris untangled herself from the bed sheets, after cracking her back a good four times of course.

She was surprised Justin was still asleep. Ususally he was teasing her about her sleeping habits. Either way it worked for her. She had errands to run before they went off to Arizona to meet up with Ki to go back to Tulsa. Cris suppressed a shudder at the thought. She really didn’t wanna go back to Tulsa.

Climbing from the bed, she stooped to kiss Justin’s cheek with an affectionate smile that really, no one ever saw. He knew she loved him. That was all that needed to be done about it. No lovey dovey cooing would ever pass Cris’s lips.

Didn’t mean she wouldn’t be affectionate when no one could see.

“I’ll be back later, Blind Boy” she whispered to his sleeping form before stepping over him to walk into the kitchen. Normally she would have been a bitch and drew on his face or nudged him awake just because she could. But today she was going to let him sleep. She was going out after all, and he was not allowed to follow. Because she was off to see Luxy. Who still hated him. After all these years.

There had been a lot of bumps in this relationship. Lux refused to forgive Justin for what had happened at one of those bumps.

In the living room, Squall was sprawled out on the couch. It was such a familiar sight that Cris didn’t even pause. He had been sleeping on their couch for…well since they had gotten the apartment. And Cris was pretty sure that he had his own house. No, she was damn sure because she had seen it.

She didn’t complain anymore. They had a deal. He cooked he could live her.

Cris was a damn good cook, but she’d be dammed before she let anyone rope her into the kitchen to cook every night. As it was, as the whim struck her she’d kick Squall out of the kitchen to make dinner herself. But that was rare. Usually she came home from her brand of work exhausted and let the boys do as they pleased.

Hence why she hadn’t killed them both for their antics.

Padding past the lovely sight of her fully grown panther, Squall’s fully grown cat and Squall himself all cuddled up on the couch, she made her way to said kitchen. It was a pretty big kitchen as far as apartment’s went. Big enough for all the necessary appliances, an island counter, and the table. And still enough room to comfortably stand in here.

Like most people needed their coffee when they first woke up, Cris needed her own type of caffeine. Fetching a blood baggy from the fridge, which was easier to do then finding pop, she turned to the cabinets and fished out the mug. The very same mug she had used back in the Hideout. It stayed with her.

Cris had a bizarre need not to drink it right from the bag as some reds did. She liked her mug and she liked it warm. It was fucked up cold. Dumping the contents of the bag into the mug, it was then placed in the microwave. Morning ritual, she could do it with her eyes closed.

The buttons on the microwave didn’t beep.

Not with two reds with sensitive hearing in the apartment. Any beeping had been disabled long ago.

Minutes later she was padding back to the bedroom, mug in hand to get dressed and go out.

She’d be dammed if she didn’t see both of her best friends before being forced to go back to Tulsa. Which was why she had pestered Lux repeatedly to come see her.



Comments: Small, crap-ish, uneventful part. But I felt the need to write in this at least a little bit today!