--Neutral--
Post by Jeff Dunham on Jul 9, 2010 22:31:12 GMT -5
Blue=Jeff Dunham
Purple=Peanut
Green=Walter
Pink=Random lady(Won't appear again)
Brown=Security guard(Won't appear again)
The O'Hare airport was crowded, meaning the lines were long. Jeff stood there bored, with his trunk at his side. He checked his watch and sighed again. The line was slow, the machine broke so they were repairing it. After repairing the x-ray machine two hours later he finally got to the front of the line and showed the lady his ticket and walked to one of the metal detectors.
He put the trunk onto the conveyor and then put his shoes in the bin, and pushed them into the machine. He showed the man his ticket and walked through the metal detector. After a few seconds there was a beeping sound and he groaned. The man took the trunk and put it on the silver table. He opened it up and Walter said, "Hey! Shut the damn door!" The man looked at Jeff and raised an eyebrow. "I'm a ventriloquist, sorry." The security guard nodded and pulled out Peanut, he poked and prodded him and deemed him safe. He pulled the nose and it came off.
"Sorry sir." Jeff just shrugged, "No problem, it's supposed to do that, there's Velcro on it." The guard put it back on, put Peanut in the trunk, closed it and locked it. "OK sir, you're ready to go! Have a nice flight." Jeff nodded and thanked him, grabbed the trunk and quickly walked to his gate. He pulled out a red plastic water bottle and drank the pink water inside, made to look like lemonade in case the airport staff wanted to check it. He sat down in the chairs and waited for the flight to come in. A baby was crying behind him so he grabbed Peanut and turned slightly.
"Awww, what a cute kid!" "Thank you, but he's been crying since we landed from Florida." Said the lady. "Awww, maybe I can help." Peanut moved and faced the baby, "Hello little baby! Why you crying?" The baby calmed a little, but was still crying, "You trying to win the world record for the world's longest cry? Well, that position has been filled by Achmed, who won't stop crying about blowing stuff up!" Peanut then made a few noises, "Oink oink! Mooooo! Bawk bawk bawkaaa!" The baby laughed and clapped. Peanut nodded and went back to Jeff. "Thank you, he wouldn't calm down." "No problem ma'am. It's my job to make kids laugh." His flight then pulled into the gates and Peanut started bouncing. After a half hour a lady came on.
"Flight #772 to Tulsa Oklahoma now boarding. First class and Platinum members can now board." Jeff put Peanut back in his trunk and walked up to the elderly man scanning the tickets in. "Have a safe flight sir." Jeff smiled and nodded and walked into the corridor. "Jeff it's cold!" "Quiet Walter, we'll be on the plane soon!" The flight attendants welcomed him onto the flight. He struggled to get his trunk in and under the seat before collapsing into his. He took a swig of his diluted blood from his water bottle and sighed. A man then sat next to him. He sighed before pulling Peanut out again. "Jeff! I was napping why'd you pull me out?" Jeff pointed to the man and Peanut nodded, he then moved over to him, "Hiya buddy, what's your name, what's your destination, any family, why do you look mad?" "Will you stop? Sorry, he's excited." The man grunted and sat back. Jeff shrugged and sat back into his seat, sighing. In a few hours he'll be in the Tulsa House of Night teaching wood shop and how to build helicopters...
Purple=Peanut
Green=Walter
Pink=Random lady(Won't appear again)
Brown=Security guard(Won't appear again)
The O'Hare airport was crowded, meaning the lines were long. Jeff stood there bored, with his trunk at his side. He checked his watch and sighed again. The line was slow, the machine broke so they were repairing it. After repairing the x-ray machine two hours later he finally got to the front of the line and showed the lady his ticket and walked to one of the metal detectors.
He put the trunk onto the conveyor and then put his shoes in the bin, and pushed them into the machine. He showed the man his ticket and walked through the metal detector. After a few seconds there was a beeping sound and he groaned. The man took the trunk and put it on the silver table. He opened it up and Walter said, "Hey! Shut the damn door!" The man looked at Jeff and raised an eyebrow. "I'm a ventriloquist, sorry." The security guard nodded and pulled out Peanut, he poked and prodded him and deemed him safe. He pulled the nose and it came off.
"Sorry sir." Jeff just shrugged, "No problem, it's supposed to do that, there's Velcro on it." The guard put it back on, put Peanut in the trunk, closed it and locked it. "OK sir, you're ready to go! Have a nice flight." Jeff nodded and thanked him, grabbed the trunk and quickly walked to his gate. He pulled out a red plastic water bottle and drank the pink water inside, made to look like lemonade in case the airport staff wanted to check it. He sat down in the chairs and waited for the flight to come in. A baby was crying behind him so he grabbed Peanut and turned slightly.
"Awww, what a cute kid!" "Thank you, but he's been crying since we landed from Florida." Said the lady. "Awww, maybe I can help." Peanut moved and faced the baby, "Hello little baby! Why you crying?" The baby calmed a little, but was still crying, "You trying to win the world record for the world's longest cry? Well, that position has been filled by Achmed, who won't stop crying about blowing stuff up!" Peanut then made a few noises, "Oink oink! Mooooo! Bawk bawk bawkaaa!" The baby laughed and clapped. Peanut nodded and went back to Jeff. "Thank you, he wouldn't calm down." "No problem ma'am. It's my job to make kids laugh." His flight then pulled into the gates and Peanut started bouncing. After a half hour a lady came on.
"Flight #772 to Tulsa Oklahoma now boarding. First class and Platinum members can now board." Jeff put Peanut back in his trunk and walked up to the elderly man scanning the tickets in. "Have a safe flight sir." Jeff smiled and nodded and walked into the corridor. "Jeff it's cold!" "Quiet Walter, we'll be on the plane soon!" The flight attendants welcomed him onto the flight. He struggled to get his trunk in and under the seat before collapsing into his. He took a swig of his diluted blood from his water bottle and sighed. A man then sat next to him. He sighed before pulling Peanut out again. "Jeff! I was napping why'd you pull me out?" Jeff pointed to the man and Peanut nodded, he then moved over to him, "Hiya buddy, what's your name, what's your destination, any family, why do you look mad?" "Will you stop? Sorry, he's excited." The man grunted and sat back. Jeff shrugged and sat back into his seat, sighing. In a few hours he'll be in the Tulsa House of Night teaching wood shop and how to build helicopters...
