Christmas is no Time for Sulking (Pride)

[Astraea Dike]

It had been a very long year.

It wasn't even a good year, now that Raea really thought about it. Though that wasn't exactly true as the beginning of the year had been wonderful, the end wasn't so wonderful. In fact she could say it was downright awful.

Not only was she tortured by a madman and his mad girlfriend, or whoever that red fledgling was, she lost nearly all her friends in the process. Lightning stopped talking to her, Justin turned into an ass, and she didn't know what Red and Sephora thought of her, though she lived with Red...she didn't speak much to her. And Sephora stayed in her room now, which didn't make Raea feel much better.

The only person that she really wanted to know if they still liked her was Pride. Not in the "I love you" way but "You're my friend" way, though "I love you" was preferred. She still loved him, loved him too much to see him hurt...Raea sniffed and wiped her eyes, walking quickly to Nyx's temple, where she spent a lot more of her time now. She had a stack of books in her arms, nothing large, just a few novels about 400 pages. Her snow boots crunched under the snow that seemed to be falling quite heavily. She didn't care if she got snow stuck in her hair, she wanted peace and quiet.

Though she wished she'd run into Pride, he wasn't in classes, he wasn't talking to anybody. She worried about that. Fledglings needed exercise, food, socialization. If one didn't get that they'd die...Though he was already close to death so he probably didn't care, which hurt Raea more than him not speaking to her.

She picked up his Christmas gifts earlier that week, he was still her friend and she got all her friends Christmas gifts, even Miyuki who knew nothing of the holiday. She was sure Pride would like his gifts, she bought him new notebooks to write down his observations and the new BBC Sherlock Series 1 on DVD. She saw an episode on Netflix and she liked it, and since Pride loved mysteries she thought he'd enjoy the series.

The snow started falling harder and faster so Raea quickened her pace to the Temple, entering the rarely used room to escape from the cold. She brought Gracie and Dana with her today, they rarely left her alone. Gracie loved the snow, being a snow leopard she was used to the cold, and wanted to go back out, but Raea shook her head, "Too cold for Mommy, Gracie." Gracie meowed and rubbed her head against Raea's gray boots, making the fledgling smile. Raea grabbed a purple candle from the cabinet and a match. Quickly lighting the match she lit the candle and carried it to the front of Nyx's statue, setting it at her feet. She then lit the others surrounding the statue and smiled, glad the room was filled with light and warmth from the fire. She inhaled deeply, smiling at the scents of the candles, before sitting down against the base of the statue, grabbing a book from her rather large stack.

She began reading, only to see it was a mystery she grabbed. She sighed, Nero Wolfe wouldn't do. She closed the book and set it aside, putting her face into her hands. She missed him. She missed him a lot. She was sulking she knew she shouldn't. Raea didn't like to sulk, but she was. Gracie put her head in Raea's lap and meowed, Dana wagged her tail at Raea then ran to the door, hearing someone outside it. Raea didn't look up, not wanting to see who was entering. She looked inside her bag, glad to have wrapped Pride's presents in the purple wrapping paper she managed to have found from last year. She added a few decorative touches, blue ribbon and package label, she even had a card for him, in a blue envelope.

She closed her bag again and sniffed, wiping her eyes. Damn boy shouldn't be making her cry like that, but he wasn't. She sighed, grabbing the book again, trying to read it through the glassy and blurry film her tears made. She didn't blink them away, though she wanted to. Gracie meowed and ran to Dana after she heard a happy bark come from the dog. Raea looked up and gasped, not believing who it was.

OOC: It's crap at the end but I have homework, not as long as I'd like it to be but it's mostly her sulking and freezing.
Outfit: Click

[Pride Osiris]

Juno liked the snow far more than Pride did. Then again, she was a husky, she was built for this type of weather with her thick gray and white pelt and her love of anything freezing. She had been tugging at his hand insistently since the moment he had woken up, so he had finally relented and taken her out after getting dressed in whatever he found that was warmest to slip into.

He huddled himself deeper into his coat away from the snow and found a smile creeping onto his lips as he watched his crazy little husky jump and bite at the snow happily before running back to him, howling happily. He managed to laugh softly, and shook his head a little. ”Glad you’re having fun, nut” he said to her softly, truly happy that she was enjoying herself. She bit at the edge of his jacket arm and tugged on it. He shook his head, not in the mood to play but he was fine to watch her play. She seemed to pout, lowering her head and tail a little and he sighed.

”Fine, fine” he said. Usually it wasn’t hard to get the boy to play with his dog, but he hadn’t been doing it as much as he should lately. He hadn’t run with her in a few days because his legs still ached, especially in this cold and after they had been broken and twisted. He closed his eyes against that memory and shook his head, he really did not want to let that overtake his thoughts again, he couldn’t handle it right now. He had managed to push it out of his head for a while, mostly by getting rid of anything connected to it. And anyone.

He frowned again. Now that sounded harsher than he meant it to. But he needed to get better, and he couldn’t if he dwelled. He needed to let go and at least try to be happy. The happy go lucky nut of a girl he had befriended recently was assurance of that, so was the girl who kept moving after she was betrayed. Two new friends, both helping in their own way, and he was grateful of the way hanging out kept his mind off of things that he couldn’t stand to dwell on anymore.

Juno tugged again, reclaiming his attention. Impatient, but she was still a puppy after all.

He smiled down at her and then scooped up a handful of snow, packing it in until it became a full blown snowball and then he tossed it up in the air and Juno easily caught it. Her bushy tail started to wag and it was obvious that she wanted more, she wanted to play, she missed playing with her fledgling because in her opinion he had been far too boring for her tastes lately and he needed to work on that. So she intended to help him, in her own dog like way.

He made another snow ball, and this time chucked it farther, watching her run after it as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets to avoid the chill that handling the snow had given him. He had to watch that. He was on a delicate balance with his health as it was, no need to catch the sniffles or something to make it even worse. He was going ot make sure that he tried to watch his health before those two girls he mentioned earlier killed him before his rejection of the Mark could even come close to doing so.

After tossing the snowballs to Juno a few hundred more times until she seemed ot lose interest in it finally and be slightly worn down enough that he could manage to stop throwing them, he figured that it was probably in his best interest to get inside somewhere. He wasn’t sure where, but inside just sounded like the best option before he froze out here. The snow was starting to fall harder, and Juno may have been built for that weather, but he certainly wasn’t and his cold hands and face were beginning to remind him of that fact rather insistently.

He huddled himself more into his coat and looked up to see that the nearest building was Nyx’s temple. He had figured that Nyx probably didn’t like him much with all the stuff that he had been though, but he was also one of those fledglings that still believed in the goddess. He slipped into the temple, hoping that no one noticed him doing so being that they weren’t allowed to do this, and slid into the room, finding it much warmer in here despite its disuse lately. It was nice to know that at least it was being taken care of, probably by fledglings who weren’t ready to see the place fall down or into ruin.

He slid himself down into a seat, closest to the middle, and looked down, rubbing his now aching legs. The cold really wasn’t good for old wounds like this, and even worse for the newer ones…especially bone aches. He frowned down at his legs, not noticing that he was no longer alone in this place, too distracted by his aches. Juno, on the other hand, noticed and wasted no time, prancing over to Pride’s former flame with her tag waving happily, looking to be pet.

Words: 927
Muse: Good

[Astraea Dike]

Raea didn't mind the cold, usually, she loved it when it snowed. As long as she didn't have to shovel it away, she was fine with it. She knew her animals loved the snow though, so she made time to go out with them and play. Not today though, today she just wanted peace and quiet and a feeling of calmness. What better place than Nyx's Temple? Sure she sat at the front but nobody came in anymore so she didn't mind if she sat near her Goddess. She just hoped no Raven Mockers had patrols in here on a regular basis, though from what she researched, or snooped, they rarely went in here themselves.

So that made it the perfect spot to hide from the blizzard that started outside, at least she hoped it wasn't a blizzard. Blizzard meant she was snowed in, usually. She didn't really care though, she knew her friends would go find her. Cris would scold her in a way that only she knows how, then make hot chocolate and joke about her turning blue or something. Raea unbuttoned her coat but left it on, she was still slightly chilly. She wondered where her Gracie went so she could lay in her lap, which was half of the reason Raea looked up, the other half was now making her way up to her.

Juno had managed to come in and prance up to Raea, wagging her tail happily. Raea giggled softly and held her hands out to scratch Juno behind the ears, kissing the dog's head. "Hi Juno, I missed you. How'd you get in here?" She continued to run her hands through the dog's wet husky fur, not caring at all, and looked around the room, trying to find Juno's owner. The only way she could have gotten in here, because she was that loyal, was if Pride was in here as well. And that's who Dana and Gracie were running up to. Dana made it first, sniffing his pant leg gently before licking his hand as it rubbed his legs. Gracie was second, hopping up next to him and purring. Raea frowned, she didn't know if he even noticed her, well he would now, since her pets just went up to say hi.

She felt tears well up in her eyes when she noticed that his legs were bothering him. Of course they'd bother him they were practically destroyed. And it was her fault. If she only saw it happening. She could have stopped it, told a teacher, done something!! The fledgling wiped her eyes, hating how much crying she did in the past month. Her eyes must have been red, all the salt and dry weather wasn't good. She probably looked like a mess.

She stood up, slinging her bag around her shoulders. She took small steps to him, feeling her entire body shake. She was nervous, she didn't want to hear that he hated her, that he blamed her for what happened. No, he was too sweet for that, he'd never tell her that. She smiled, though it wasn't her signature smile, the one that made him smile, and cleared her throat. "Hello Pride...Nice to see you up and about..." She felt her cheeks go pink, not knowing what to say to him. What could she say to him?

His hair had grown longer, it looked good on him. She liked the length, tempted to say something on it, but she didn't want to come off as flirting. She knew her mind would somehow make her say something like that, so she didn't speak. She also wanted to see his eyes, he didn't look at her when the Game happened, and she wanted to see them now. Those deep blue eyes that she loved...She still loved him, it hurt how much she loved him. But he broke off their relationship, and she respected it.

Never said she had to like it.

Dana barked happily at Raea and looked at Pride, expecting him to smile back. Her tail was wagging a mile a minute, expecting him to also scratch behind her ear. Raea gently poked Dana in the head and she sat down, calmed down a bit but still wagging her tail very fast. Gracie nuzzled her head against Pride's side, "Sorry, they missed you..." Her heart desperately wanted to say she missed him too, but she bit her tongue, not saying a word. She wouldn't say anything like that unless he said something like that to her first. Raea looked at her feet, not knowing what to say now. She could give him his presents, but she didn't want to do it right at that moment, she wanted to wait a bit, talk to him. She wanted to see how he was doing, how he was feeling.

If he still liked her.

OOC: Blahh, more sulking/thinking/worrying, but I can't help it.
Words: 850? I just take a rough estimate now

[Pride Osiris]

Pride hadn’t even noticed that he was no longer alone. He was too focused on the little aches and pains that were in his legs. They had been broken five times in total and they were just now healed enough for him to be taking long walks like he had with Juno. He wished he could run with her again, but evne if he was medically up for it he just couldn’t bring himself to do it anymore. He was glad that she was no worse for the wear from being missing and kidnapped as well, but he couldn’t care for her likehe should which was almost as bad as her being missing.

He frowned and looked over to see her walking away and towards someone else, her tail wagging happily and knowing that this person she was going to would happily pet her. Juno howled happily when she got pet and scratched and after getting kissed on the head she returned the favor to lick Raea’s cheek happily, having missed her after seeing her so often before these past weeks.

Pride would have turned to see who it was who was making his puppy girl sound so happy, but he never got the chance before Dana came over happily, licking his hand. Well that solidified who it was, now didn’t it? He winced internally, not sure how to act or react to this. He had done this after he had been unable to handle a relationship on top of figuring himself out. And there was also the issue of him not being sure if he could look at Raea the same way even if it wasn’t really her fault at all. He pet Dana happily anyway, smiling at her. ”Hey girl” he murmured as he scratched behind her ears lightly.

And then seeing Gracie on his other side he happily scratched behind her ears as well, petting the two little furry cuties. He could handle this, very easily. Animals didn’t require careful talking to, they didn’t need explainations or for a person to say all the right things. They just needed a gentle hand and a kind face and they were more than happy to cuddle up to you as long as you hadn’t hurt them too bad in the past. Humans were harder, they were a lot more complicated and Pride wasn’t entirely sure how to handle this at all. He would just take it as he could.

To go from loving someone so much it ached to not being sure if you could look at them the same really hurt. He knew that, mentally, it hadn’t been her fault at all that he had had to go through his worst fear all over again and was so badly broken he was still putting himself back together. But part of him was having trouble not connecting what had happened to him back to her as hard as he tried not to. That wasn’t fair to her, that was why he had split off from her. And now she was here and he didn’t have the choice of moving along like nothing had happened like he had been trying to.

He looke dup and over at her when she spoke, frowning slightly at how broken she seemed. He knew that most of this was his fault, most of her being broken landed squarely on his own shoulders. He just wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He couldn’t exactly bundle her into his arms and make it better, he wasn’t sure that he could do that any more, he wasn’t sure how to let someone else close like that right now.

She smiled, and he smiled back, though he knew that his looked just as off as hers did right now. But what else could he do? He wasn’t going to look at her with a blank face just because that was all he could pass off. He did pull on his actor’s shoes though to make ti look more believable, and to help him get through this without saying all of the wrong things at once. ”Hey Raea, you too” he replied softly, watching the way that Juno stayed happily right near Raea as she came closer to Pride.

He almost said Raea Love. But no, that wouldn’t be fair to her after what he had done. He smiled a little at Dana when she barked happily and pet her happily. Silly pup, he had always like Dana though, her and Juno had always gotten along wonderfully. Raea sat next to him but he focused his attention on petting Gracie who was also now asking for attention at his side. He wasn’t sure if he could handle this, again he thought that. He shook his head and then looked up finally, running his fingers through his now longer hair because he hadn’t bothered to cut it. It made him look scruffy but he was not bothered by it much.

He nodded a little. ”It’s okay, so did Juno” he nodded toward his pup who was still happily right next to Raea, waiting to be pet more. He smiled a bit at his pup who pranced over to happily put her front paws on his knees and lick his face. He smiled, genuinely for a moment, when she did that and nudged her off. ”Nut” he said with a slight roll of his eyes. She had done it because she could tell he was off. He knew that.


Words: 956
Muse: Okay
Comments: --

[Astraea Dike]

Her heart sank a little as he smiled back, knowing it wasn't the one she loved seeing. She could have sworn she heard him start to say Love but she talked herself out of it. He didn't want to talk to her about anything anymore. She rubbed her arm, frowning. When she sat next to him she felt him tense, though she kept her hand scratching Juno a bit, glad the dog still liked her at least. Dog's didn't hold grudges, they were always nice to you. Dana hopped over to Raea's lap and she grunted, petting her own dog. "You are too big to do this Dana." She sighed, smiling her smile as Dana licked her nose.

But the smile vanished as soon as the dog went back to Pride, knowing he wasn't himself. She put her bag next to her on the seat, scootching a bit farther from Pride so he'd have his space. He needed his space. It was just chance they met in here...Right? This WAS Nyx's Temple...maybe she was trying to tell them something?

Nah, impossible. Nyx stopped listening...Oh now Raea was starting to believe that! She put her head in her hands, looking up at the statue. Why should she doubt her goddess?...There were many reasons to doubt her, let's not kid ourselves here. She felt a tear fall down her cheek but she wiped it away quickly, sitting up sharply.

No crying, no tears. Not in front of him. Raea could cry her eyes out all she wanted when she got back to her room, but now? No.

Juno basically licked Pride's face and he smiled, that smile. She sighed, knowing Juno could make him smile like that. "Yea, she's a nut, but she's your nut." She was jealous....of a dog. Juno could make him smile like that of course she could, she was his dog. Raea was just....an ex girlfriend.

She loved Juno, she was a sweetie. Gracie meowed when she saw the dog and moved to bat the dog's nose, all in good fun of course. Dana barked excitedly, jumping down from the bench and stuck her butt in the air, wagging it for Juno to play. She barked, hopping from side to side a bit before nipping her ear and running down the aisle, Gracie following soon after to chase after Dana. Raea frowned, leaving a brokenhearted girl alone with her ex boyfriend wasn't a good idea. What were her pets thinking?!

Ex boyfriend or not she still had presents for him. She reached into her bag and pulled out the two gifts, "I um...I bought these for you before...well...they're your Christmas gifts..I see no reason for you not to have them. We're still friends after all...right?" She held them out to him, waiting for him to take them, She smiled a half smile, then remembered she wrote the card before The Game. "And um....ignore the card...I wrote it before...yea." She blushed deeply, playing with a bit of her hair.

Friends...she wanted to be more than that. She wanted to throw her arms around him and cry into his shoulder, him whispering in her ear that everything would be okay, he still loved her. She wrapped her arms around herself then, sighing a bit, "I hope you like them." She smiled a bit, biting her thumb nail anxiously. She picked up a few....nasty habits while waiting for her friends to talk to her again...Paranoia? Maybe, anxious? Maybe, she didn't know.

[Pride Osiris]

Pride hadn’t expected this when he had come out of his room today to walk Juno through the snow even though it wreaked havoc on his legs when he was out in the bitter cold. Juno and her exercise were more important of course. But either way, he had not expected to bump into Raea in this place, and it made him even feel a bit guilty when he thought about it. Was she in the temple to pray, was it his fault she was here? But then he realized that that sounded slightly self centered. She probably had other issues after the game that didn’t include him.

Which just got him feeling worse all over again. She did have other issues probably, her other friends had gone through it as well, and here he was, adding to the list that probably didn’t need adding to. He was just such a wonderful person, wasn’t he? And then he frowned at himself, he wasn’t supposed to be sitting here making fun of himself or putting himself down. He had promised to stop doing that to a few people now, and he was going to at least attempt to keep that promise as best he could.

He could pretend to be happy.

He wasn’t sure how to handle this though. She was sitting right next to him. He was trying to pay attention to the animals that were greeting him rather than this, mostly because he was a coward. Had he been a coward before? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t think he had been. But he certainly was one now if he couldn’t suck it up and be nice to the girl he had caused pain to. He had made his bed, the least he could do was lie in it, she deserved him trying harder than he was, she was such a sweet girl…

That was when Juno jumped up on him and licked his face, which made him smile an actual genuine smile and call her a nut. She always knew when he needed that. She was good at making him relax when he needed it, and right now he obviously did. He smiled at her, knowing she was being the best dog that anyone could possibly ever ask for, and then nodded a bit when Raea spoke. ”That she is” he said softly, unsure of what else he could say.

Did he ask her how she was doing? Or was that just a stupid question? Or did he make small talk? Would she want that? Probably not. Shit. He should probably think of something to say at least. They couldn’t be sitting here all quiet in the temple. He should do something. He couldn’t handle this stuff. He had left his hometown to come here to the house before he had had to handle his only other breakup which hadn’t really been a breakup. He wasn’t sure what to do about this, a real one.

Gracie batted at Juno’s nose and Juno playfully growled, no menace in it, and licked the top of Gracie’s head, the move so unexpected that it actually made Pride chuckle, something he hadn’t expected to do. And then Juno proceeded to take Dana’s challenge and race after the other two pets, making Pride shake his head. He wasn’t sure how he felt about them leaving. They had been a distraction, a way of making this conversation easier so they could just focus on the pets. But he supposed that easy wasn’t always right, and sometimes things were supposed to go right, not easy.

And then Raea pulled out two gifts and he blinked, slightly shocked, and not expecting it. He had gotten her something for Christmas as well, but it hadn’t been wrapped before Juno and then himself had been missing and he didn’t have it with him. It made him wonder if she had thought she would see him, to be carrying it around, but he wasn’t going to ask that. But she asked if they were still friends and he nodded, smiling slightly. Of course. He could handle friends. He had to put himself back together before a relationship would even become an option.

But he could handle friends.

He took them with a small smile. ”I’m afraid I don’t have what I got you on me, but of course we’re still friends, love” he said softly, the love slipping out before he could help it and he shook his head. He needed to not do that, that would be a problem if he wasn’t careful. He nodded about what she said about the card and opened them, smiling. She knew him really well. But of course she did. They had been together for as long as they had, and neither of them were idle significant others. They had learned a lot about each other.

He smiled, a true smile, and turned to thank her, because for the moment he could forget how broken he was. But he saw her biting at her finger and frowned, pulling the hand gently away from her mouth before realizing what he was doing and dropping it, pulling his hand back. Yeah, he was really bad at this. He had to remind himself this all was for the best, he had decided that some time ago. She didn’t deserve to have a boyfriend who kept seeing himself tortured and captured every time he looked at her.

Or a boyfriend who hadn’t been entirely faithful, tortured or not, he should have had more self control…should have resisted the bite’s pull…something.

He shook his head, realizing he should probably answer her. ”Shouldn’t bite at yourself, Raea. But I love them, honestly.” he said, smiling, but the smile didn’t reach again, as much as he honestly did love what she got, now he was thinking again about how all the ways he was broken, and why that wasn’t good for her.


Words: 1037
Muse: Not Bad
Comments: -smacks Pride with a fish, a-la Ari...I believe?-

[Astraea Dike]

Goddess why must she still be a teenager? She wanted to be rid of those stupid feelings they had, she had. They hurt, they wrapped around her like a thick fog that wouldn't lift. She hated how that no matter where she looked, where she went, that fog stayed with her. Everything she did, she did with a sense of guilt. Everything reminded her of her friends, of what happened. She wanted the fog to lift, she wanted to smile.

Maybe that's why she went into the temple, to pray and ask Nyx for the fog to lift, to want her spirit be cleansed of the feelings of guilt and sorry that plagued her heart and mind. Her heart felt heavy, so very heavy. She looked up to the ceiling of the magnificent temple, going unused since Neferet took over. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that filled her eyes.

This was too much, she almost couldn't handle it. Almost. Being near her love, the one she thought would be her mate for life, was killing her. Though she knew it wasn't really, deep within her heart, she knew he loved her and he knew it wasn't her fault.

But that part of her heart was deep under the fog and shrouds of grief and sadness. It was easy to lose yourself into them, very easy. All you had to do was let it swallow you up, letting your heart sink deep within you and letting your mind think of nothing else but your sadness.

Yes, it was very easy to.

She spoke about his nut of a dog and his voice ripped open the wound that was still fresh, still bleeding. She didn't need that, she kept telling herself. She didn't need a boyfriend who would hurt her, emotionally was much worse than physically. Physical wounds heal, emotional ones take much longer.

Which was why she heard her rational side chastising her for thinking such thoughts. Pride must have been going through the same thing. Soon after their pets..No, her cat and dog and his dog, left them alone, she handed him his presents, the ones that she got not only for her boyfriend but for her friend, she hoped.

He said they could be friends, but he said love at the end. He spoke his sentence softly, but she heard the love. It not only burned the emotional wound, it cut it deeper, she hated it. She closed her eyes, forgetting the love that felt it meant so much. Hearing it from his lips was torture, and it wasn't. It also healed, it made her feel better, soothed some of her guilt. It didn't make sense, maybe someday it would.

"That's fine if you don't have it on you, you can give it to me the next time you see me." She smiled, another fake smile, though the word he said made some of it real, it wasn't as bright, but it glowed dimly, showing very little of the small happiness she felt.

He opened the gifts as she bit her thumb, and she saw him smile. That smile she loved so much. Her cheeks turned up as she bit her thumb but fell as he took her hand from her mouth, dropping it as soon as he touched it. She wanted to take his hand again, and her hand reached for his, but she pulled it away. Not before her fingertips touched the back of his hand, barely gracing his skin.

She missed him. Terribly. He smiled again, saying he loved the gifts, but it never reached. He wasn't thinking about the presents, he was thinking about something else. Her? No, that's selfish, what she did?

She was forgetting, or trying to forget, that she kissed the damn man that started all this. She kissed the man that wanted Pride dead. While they were still together. That had to be cheating...And yet, somehow she kept saying it wasn't. It was a thank you kiss, one that she gave her family and...Pride. Okay so it was technically cheating as she didn't kiss others...Maybe Justin, but that probably was a dare, she couldn't exactly remember.

Her stomach churned again and she put her face into her hands, feeling tears finally fall from her eyes. She kept her sobs from being audible but she felt her shoulders shake. No, don't lose it..Not now. She took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling again, feeling her body shake. "Why?! Why must I feel this?! Why should I be tortured for something that I had no control...something that I..." She felt a sob escape her throat and she looked over to the statue of Nyx, tears falling down her cheeks. "That I could have stopped." She whispered aloud, completing her thoughts and prayer to Nyx.

She wanted her Goddess to answer her!! For once let her answer her prayers!! Why wasn't she allowed to see what happened?! It ruined everything she cared about, it ruined the one thing she cared about the most.

Comments: Blue is speaking, italics is thinking
Muse: Thank you HoN books!!
Words: 880!! Roughly!!

[Pride Osiris]

Pride had seriously not expected to be joined, today. He had thought that he was supposed to just go out and walk Juno and head back in before his legs began to hurt him too badly from being out in the cold. He thought it would be a quick walk, possibly a jog if he thought he could stand it, to get Juno some exercise. And then he would be able to go inside, and put some heat on his legs so that way they would stop aching. He hadn’t thought he would head into Nyx’s temple to get out of the snow with his dog next to him.

And he certainly hadn’t expected for Raea to come into here as well.

Now, he didn’t hate Raea. It was honestly far from that. Very far from that. She didn’t deserve anyone’s hate because none of this, none of what had happened, was any bit her fault. Though if he knew her, and he thought that he did, she was definitely blaming herself for all of this. He hadn’t broken up with her because of that, no, not because he thought that she was wrong in any way. It was for a very different reason indeed.

He had done it because he wasn’t able to look at her the same. He wasn’t able to put the loving look on his face or in his eyes that she deserved. Every time he looked at her, his mind went right back to his greatest fear, being kidnapped once more. Being at the hands of that little psycho. He didn’t think it was her fault, no, not consciously at the very least. But that didn’t stop his mind from making the constant connections from her to that time. It was horrible, she didn’t deserve it, so he had split it off so she wouldn’t have to deal with his issues and his thoughts that she didn’t deserve at all. It was the logical thing to do, even if he knew that it still didn’t help him feel better at all about it.

She asked if they were still friends, and the question had surprised him. Of course, if he could manage not to have serious issues that were all in his head, he would love to be friends with her still, and he had told her as much. The only thing was that he had said love at the end of it. He had messed up, and he had winced after he had said it slightly. That was not good at all for either of them, for him to make slip ups like that.

It had been related to the stuff of Christmas presents and how she had his on her, which made him wonder if she had been planning to see him or if it had been a coincidence but the gifts had been in her bag either way. It made him wonder but he kept it to himself, and instead mentioned that he didn’t have hers on him. He had bought them, of course. They had still been dating before everything had fallen apart, still been dating until right before Christmas, so he had bought things for her to have, because he had always tried to be so good to her.

He was trying to be good to her now, in his own way. That WAS why he had split it off when he had. He just wished he could find a way to tell her that that made sense. It made sense to him, in his head, even if it made him feel bad all the same for doing it.

He nodded a bit when she said he could give it to her the next time that he saw her. He nodded. ”I’ll do that, soon” he said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He hated to think it, but he was worried about seeing her again, at a more planned way.

He opened the present, and he loved it. How could he not? She knew him so well, she knew what he would like and what he wouldn’t…just like he was pretty sure that she would love what he got her because they knew each other that well. It was the point of a relationship, wasn’t it? A real relationship that is. To get to know the other person, to know everything you could about the other person so that way you could get closer. It was when that other person became your everything that things got complicated.

He smiled, a true smile, and went to tell her he liked it, but then he caught her biting on her thumb, and he pulled her thumb from her mouth when she did that, before dropping the hand figuring that she didn’t want him touching her and he should do better than that, he should know better than that.

Her fingers brushed against his skin, but she didn’t try to touch him more than that, and he nodded a bit. Well that confirmed that in a way. She didn’t want to touch him, not really, not when she was paying attention to it. He understood that, he deserved that for what he had done in breaking up with her. So he understood and didn’t push that, not at all.

But when she got upset and started going into herself, that he couldn’t ignore much. She put her head in her hands, she started to cry. He frowned and turned towards her, ignoring the aches and pains that still plagued him and, ignoring that she probably didn’t want him touching her, put his hand on her shoulder, softly he spoke to her, out of concern. ”Could have stopped what, Raea?” he asked her then, concerned for her and what she seemed to be doing, so beaten up. So beating herself up.

Words: 1015
Muse: Okay
Comments: Sorry it fails.

[Astraea Dike]

Raea never expected to meet Pride in Nyx's Temple, she half expected it to be a Raven Mocker, not her ex-boyfriend. She wished it was a Raven Mocker at this point. She didn't know if this conversation was awkward or just painful. It was awkward because they were no longer dating and it was painful because she still loved him. She still loved him so much.

It was painful, how much she loved him. When they were dating it only hurt when he was away, now it hurt whenever she thought of him. Goddess whoever invented that damn emotion was going to have Hell to pay!!

She didn't care if he never gave her her Christmas gifts, she just liked watching him smile. Though, there was no true smile on his face when he said he'd try to give her gifts to her soon. Somewhere in her gut she knew that he wouldn't try to give them to her soon. After what they went through? Not a chance. She just smiled the smile that she was slapping on her face during the day and shrugged a bit, "No rush, don't feel like you have to give it to me next week. I can wait." She smiled that fake smile, Gracie mewed quietly and padded off to find Dana and Juno, who Raea hoped weren't making a mess.

Seeing his real smile from the gifts she bought him made her heart soar. Raea was very glad he liked them, but biting her nails became a habit of hers now. She only saw his real smile out of the corner of her eye, and when he pulled her hand from her mouth she felt her insides start shaking. It wasn't going to make her fall apart yet, but she knew that feeling.

She was going to start crying. Soon. So, mentally she angrily yelled at her goddess for not showing her that this would happen. She wanted to stop it, she truly did. She wanted to make sure that never happened to him ever again and she failed. Raea felt Pride's hand touch her shoulder and that nearly made her completely fall to pieces. "Not now...No." She told herself and took a deep breath, trying to calm down before she spoke to him again.

Only she heard him ask what she wished she could have stopped and she felt parts of her body shake. Not with anger, but with sobs she was holding back. "Nyx please, if you can hear me, keep me from losing it completely until I leave." She prayed silently, hoping this one would be answered. Slowly, she felt her body calm, as if she did hear her, and the young fledgling looked at Pride. "It doesn't matter now, I guess." She said quietly, "Just...promise me you'll take better care of yourself?" Her hand hesitantly touched his face, running her thumb over his cheekbone softly. "And let me do this...just once more." She said quietly, a tear sliding down her cheek. She leaned over to him and gently pressed her lips to his Mark.

She didn't care if she just complicated things, she didn't care if he now hated her, she didn't care about anything. She needed to do this. She had to make a promise to herself. After today, she was going to try and be happier. Not the fake smiles that she had been putting on for everyone, but real genuine smiles. Her signature smile. Raea felt another tear slide down her face as she pulled away from him, standing up from the seat. She put her bag around her shoulders and put her stack of books in her now empty bag. "I'll...see you around, I guess."

Did she want to leave? No, but it was probably best to now. She was sure Dana wanted to continue her and Juno's race. Raea looked around for the dogs and found Dana sat at the base of the statue, snuffing at the purple candle Raea had lit earlier. She sighed and snapped her fingers, making Dana turn her head and sprint over to her.

Raea most definitely did not want to leave. But she felt like she had to. If only to keep from having Pride fake his feelings toward her. He probably did hate her, any normal person would.

Then again, Raea and Pride were not normal people.

OOC: Love random muses. This one popped up at 5 in the morning with Raea wanting to kiss his forehead, right on his mark. So I let her. How this will work out, NO IDEA.