Three for all:: Thoughts. [[Miyuki]]

[Mayumi Tsubasa]

It'd been too long since Mayumi saw her sister.

It was hard for both of them, loosing their brother. Mayumi felt like her world, bit by bit, was falling out from around her: the realization that her parents weren't who they seemed to be, loosing her fiance, loosing her brother. All that was left was Miyuki, and Mayumi, now, more then ever, had to cling to her. She didn't need to loose her. The one person she had left.

It hit Miyuki even harder because the girl always blamed herself. Don't be confused: Mayumi did, too, but Miyuki took it to an unhealthy extent. She felt not like her world was falling out from around her, but like she was, bit by bit, damaging the things she loved. Like she was a virus somehow.

The triplets had always been together: three for all forever.

But... not anymore.

Ande's appearance had both made it easier and harder. He so much reminded the brunette of her lost brother: the same mannerisms... and he fit with she and Miyuki in the same place that Roxas had left empty.

And, yet, that made it harder to move on.

Mayumi clung her dark coat around her more tightly against the hard night winds. She'd taken a walk around the campus, trying to organize her thoughts, which had been jumbled, disconnected recently.

Why was she even here?

It was unlike Mayumi to let these sorts of thoughts plague her mind, and yet she didn't seem to be able to keep them out. Even with her history in the Arena, everything she--and her siblings--had seen and done, it had always been fine. Because they'd been together.

And now they weren't.

It was either the wind or that thought that bit at May's eyes, or both, she wasn't sure, but she was almost back to the dorms. She upped her pace, bounding the last few feet, hugging her frock to her chest and digging her chin into the dark blue scarf around her neck. She was almost to the dorms. She she was almost to her sister.

When the petite asian stepped into the heated hall, she exhaled: visibly unthawing. Her arms dropped from her waist, shoulders unslumped, expression slackened. Thank the Lord for heating.

The girl advanced toward her sister's dorm, characteristic little smile playing on her lips. Even amidst everything that was happening, seeing her sister cheered the brunette.

Flicking her waist-length waves behind her shoulder, May rapped softly, but enough to alert Miyuki (who, of course, had a killer ear).

She'd missed her sister.



COMMENTS. Sorry</3 Might take me a bit to get back into the groove of things.

[Miyuki Tsubasa]

[style=width: 416px;background-color: #b1b198; color: #989884; font-family: arial black; font-size: 9px; text-align: right; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; padding-top: 3px; letter-spacing: 4px; margin-bottom: -1px;]I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HALO[/style][style=width: 416px;background-color: #b1b198; color: #d4d4b4; text-shadow: #814a4a 1px 1px 0px; font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 15px; text-align: right; font-weight: bolder; text-indent: 2em; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-bottom: -3px;]can't you see i'm no one's angel[/style]

[atrb=style,border-top: 8px solid #333333; border-bottom: 8px solid #333333; border-left: 3px solid #b1b198; border-right: 3px solid #b1b198;][bg=7b3636][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,420,true][atrb=width,20%][atrb=vAlign,top] [style=width:100px; height: 100px; border: 3px solid #333333; opacity:0.9;filter:alpha(opacity=40); margin-left:3px; background-image: url(http://i731.photobucket.com/albums/ww313/Dark_Earth_Flower/yuuiie.jpg); -moz-border-radius-topright: 40px; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft: 40px;] [/style]   [style=width:100px; height: 100px; border: 3px solid #333333; opacity:0.9;filter:alpha(opacity=40); margin-left: 3px; background-image: url(http://i731.photobucket.com/albums/ww313/Dark_Earth_Flower/yuuiee.jpg); -moz-border-radius-topright: 40px; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft: 40px;] [/style]  [style=width:100px; height: 100px; border: 3px solid #333333; opacity:0.9;filter:alpha(opacity=40); margin-left: 3px; background-image: url(http://i731.photobucket.com/albums/ww313/Dark_Earth_Flower/yuuiie.jpg); -moz-border-radius-topright: 40px; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft: 40px;] [/style] [style=margin-right; 19px; margin-top: -360px; height: 375px; margin-left: 115px; margin-bottom: -5px; overflow:auto; background-color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; color: #e1dbc2; padding-top: 16px; padding-bottom: 19px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; text-align: justify; -moz-border-radius-topleft: 10px; -moz-border-radius-topright: 10px;]For starters, yes. Miyuki was indeed in her pajamas. She didn't see a reason to leave her dorm room today, so she hadn't seen a reason to change either. And secondly, yes, she had actually been sleeping for once. A shocker to those who knew her. Sometimes it seemed as if Miyuki's greatest talent was destroying herself. She was unintentionally self-destructive, though she never noticed it. When her friends or loved ones suffered, she would go out of her way to try and fix it, because when she cared about someone, she couldn't stand to see them in pain of any sort. Momentarily ignoring her own personal plagues, she worried and stressed over her friends, all of them. She worried when she felt Lightning was digging her own grave, she worried when she felt Red had set herself up for her heart to be shattered over and over again, she worried whenever Cris would have one of her nightmares again or had to deal with her mother, she worried each and every time Justin and Cris broke up, she worried Justin's spastic self would land him an early grave, she worried that being their leader would land an invisible bulls-eye painted onto Sephora's back, she worried for Andettan and how her was adjusting to the school, she worried for Colby, or rather, she always worried someone else would catch his eye and he'd leave her because she just wasn't worth the stress she caused, but most of all, Miyuki worried for her sister. She worried about how their past had possibly scarred her in any way, worried that the school or the people in it would slowly darken her sister's pure heart, she worried of what kind of stress she was for her sister, worried that it was too much, especially after the loss of their brother, whom Miyuki hated herself for, for not being able to recall the slightest thing about him. She worried about anyone she saw as an enemy targeting her sister... That last thought made her blood boil. There was so very little Miyuki wasn't willing to do for her sister. For Mayumi's safety, Miyuki had absolutely no limits in what lengths she would go to in order to assure her sister's safety and happiness. So few of her friends truly understood what it meant to be an elder sibling, considering the rest of them were all either only child's or the youngest in their round of siblings. Miyuki was the only one who was neither of those things. She was the eldest. It didn't matter how much older she was from her other siblings, the beginning and end of it were simply that Miyuki was older. Because she was, all her younger siblings were her responsibility. She had to keep them safe, she had to help them when they needed her, she had to keep them from harm and help them when she could, she had to be responsible for them. When Miyuki was two years old, this was what had been drilled into her head. She was responsible for everyone in her family that was younger than her. It hadn't mattered to their father that she had barely understood him at the time, because even after all these years, it had stuck. It was funny, that her closest friends were more family to her than anything else, so this ended up applying to them as well. Especially since Miyuki was eldest of them. Being the eldest meant you were supposed to be the protector, you were supposed to do all the bad and scary things so the younger ones would never have to. It meant you were supposed to put your feelings and needs aside because your younger siblings needed you to be there for them. And in this, she had failed. She had failed because she had read what she had written before she placed herself in the coma. She had been greedy and put herself first for once. She had thought it would be better if she were gone, because she was a threat to them all, the little demon in her head would hurt those she had to protect, she thought removing herself from the picture would make them all safe. But she had been wrong. Life gives no second chances, and the price for her screw-up was that she had lost one of the very most important pieces of her life. She had lost one of her triplet siblings. When she woke from the coma, much longer than she had planned to stay in it, according to what she read, there were blank-spots in her memory, as if some parts had been wiped out and completely erased. It seemed like some of those blank-spots was anything involving her brother. She didn't know if it was her brain's way of being nice and trying to make things easier on her or not, but it hadn't worked. It made things harder. She knew what was missing and she hated herself for forgetting. What kind of sister forgot all memories of their own brother?! She was horrible, the absolute worst. She was a failure. She failed her father, her grandfather and grandmother, her mother, all her family, Roxas and Mayumi both, and herself. She didn't deserve to be happy, she didn't deserve to have such amazing friends, she didn't deserve to have such a loving family, she didn't... she really didn't, and every time she looked in a mirror, her affinity never failed to remind her of all this. This was the self-loathing that lived in Miyuki's soul, hidden to all by her bitchy attitude and amused smirk. It was always there and she seemed to do a good job at hiding it, because none had shown any signs of noticing as of yet. It was funny, not even Colby, who, due to the imprint, should be able to feel all she could, seemed to notice her silent screaming for help. It was better that way, she supposed. However, as she was curled up in the tangled mess of her warm, fluffy blankets and her gaudy stuffed-toys, no thought or dream passed through her mind. Dreaming was a rare occurrence for her after all, her brain was always so fully and completely worn out by the end of each day, or rather, whenever Miyuki so happened to finally fall asleep after going so long without it, seeing as how being kept in a coma longer than she should have been had caused a true phobia of sleep to develop. Part of the evidence that she was truly self-destructive, because all that had to be done was to leave her to her own devices, and she would slowly but surely tear herself apart. Where was her roommate? Miyuki honestly hadn't the slightest clue where Cris or her panther cub Chii was. They had both left some time while Miyuki slept, most likely. All the while, Kokoro and the 15 cubs Miyuki still had to take care of were scattered about the dorm room floor, the cubs playing amongst each other while their mother, like the fledgling she had chosen so long ago, slept, or in Kokoro's case, tried to. At the sound of footsteps coming down the hall, the cubs got louder, purring and meowing in excitement, hoping for a new playmate. The noise alerted their mother, whom, easily picking up the approaching sent from the small gap between the bottom of the dorm-room door and the floor, decided the approaching scent meant it was time to wake the sleeping psychopath. The snow leopard first tried to simply notify the slumbering fledgling of her approaching sister. Kokoro tried nudging Miyuki, yanking at her blankets, meowing, but nothing seemed to work. So, Kokoro tried a different approach. The cat yanked the bedding off the bed, and tangled with it, Miyuki. Seconds after someone had rapped away at the door, Miyuki had hit the floor with an audible thud, grunting upon impact and glaring at the felines in the room for waking her. Her past had taught her subconscious to always wake upon impact. Any impact of any sort, and Miyuki would snap awake. She could swear the damn kittens were all laughing at her and could almost swear Kokoro was chuckling under her breath while she nudged her head in the direction of the door. Someone was at the door? “One second!” Miyuki called before attempting to untangle herself from her fluffy mass of wonderful. The blanket had put up a good fight, but in the end, Miyuki had won. With that on the bed, Miyuki didn't even bother to consider changing into normal clothes before getting the door. What did she care if whoever was there saw her in her pajamas and without makeup? When she approached the door, her hand on the handle to turn it, she took a quick glance over her shoulder to be sure that all Kokoro's cubs were far away enough from the door that none of them got out. With her attention in the general direction of the room, Miyuki's eyes were drawn to the thick and heavy black curtains covering the window of their room. What time of day/night was it, anyway? How long had she been asleep? On her sleep days, It was typical for Miyuki to sleep either the whole day away, or the whole night, and on some occasions, her sleep would last nearly 24 hours. She really didn't get enough sleep anymore after all. Though she had a scowl on her face when she yanked open the door, that was quickly replaced with a look of excitement and shock. “MAYUMI!” she squealed loud enough for anyone on her floor or on Mayumi's floor to hear. She flung her arms around her sister, trapping the taller of the two in a hug much too similar to a bear-hug. Miyuki couldn't really help it, she missed her sister. She had been worried something horrible had happened, since it had been so long since she had seen her around. Everyone she asked, none had any idea in the slightest where her dear sister was. But none of that mattered now, because Mayumi was right here. Right in front of her. And Miyuki was so damn happy to see her. With a laugh, Miyuki finally released her sister, a grin large enough to swallow her whole face perfectly in place and incapable of lessening. Again, she couldn't help it, she missed her and was so damn happy to see her. Taking in her sister's appearance, the excited grin lessened and was replaced with a happy smile as Miyuki raised one of her thin eyebrows in curiosity, though her dark bangs always hid her eyebrows from view, so when she cocked an eyebrow, it was rare for one to notice. “A jacket?” She asked. “You live one floor above me, where have you been?” It wasn't till the sounds of the cubs caught her attention that Miyuki realized her stupidity. How dumb could she get, leaving her sister in the hall! She moved out of her sister's way to let her in. “You are sooo not standing in the hall, get in here before Kor's cubs get out, last thing I wanna do is chase the fuzzy brats down the hallways again.” she jokingly demanded. She never did notice, but when her sister was concerned, Miyuki didn't swear as much. When if she was speaking to one of her friends, she would have said something along the lines of “Are you standing in my fucking hallway?! I don't think so, bitch! Get your ass in here before I kick it in, some time before Kor's cubs get out again would be nice, because if you let them out, you get the fun job of rounding them up and getting them back in here.” She lessened the threats and language around Raea too, but Mayumi always got the full censored version. She never meant to be, but she may possibly be a fraction nicer to her sister than she was with everyone else. But then, that really shouldn't be surprising. They were sisters after all, and unlike with Roxas, Miyuki and Mayumi had never once in their life had a fight. Roxas would find his way into trouble some times, or purposely be trying to bug her, but not Mayumi, not even once. Few siblings could make such a claim, but they could. Miyuki took her desk chair, letting her Mayumi sit on her bed if she wanted. Where she would have told anyone else to be mindful of the cubs, Miyuki didn't bother with her sister. She assumed her sister would know and take care. Kokoro greeted the middle triplet, nuzzling her great head against the blue fledgling's side as some of the cubs ventured closer out of curiosity while the others backed away into hiding places, fearing the unknown, while some yet had failed to notice the new body in the room, still playing or napping or doing whatever they had been doing before the commotion started. Noticing this, Miyuki laughed. “My room's too crowded with furry bodies. Tell me your taking some of them off my hands?” It was half a joke, half wistful thinking. She was hoping Mayumi would take one of Kokoro's cubs of course, or more, she was starting to worry she wouldn't be able to find homes for all of them. 13 in the room needed to find homes. 13 was a pretty big number when talking about animals. She couldn't give them away to anyone Kokoro wouldn't approve of taking care of one of her children, which also meant no zoos. Miyuki was starting to run out of places to look for good homes. Soon enough, she may have to put advertisements around the school. She wouldn't sell them, because the sentimental value was just too high, but still... Miyuki didn't trust most of the student body. She needed the cubs to go to homes where she was sure they would be well taken care of. She owed it to Kokoro at the very least. A good, warm and loving home for 13 snow-leopard cubs... why was it so hard?[/style]

[style=width: 416px; background-color: #b1b198; margin-top: -3px; color: #212121; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px;] words:: 2385 ♠ tagged:: MAYUMIII! ♠ outfit :: CLICK ♠ notes :: <33333[/style][style=font-family: courier new; letter-spacing: 4px; font-size: 10; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase;] template by synchronicity[/style]