Perfection (OPEN)

[Crissatha Pandora]

It had been too long, far too long, since her feet had graced this slightly warn padded floor that once knew her feet so well she could swear they were imprinted into the mats forever. Now she was lucky if she had time to fly across the floor like she used to. The Brat Pack had been taking up her time too much lately, she couldn’t manage to practice every day like she used to steadfastly, day after day. Practicing, getting better, toning herself. It was what her mother had taught her to do ever since she was tiny. Everything she was was instilled with that fact. She was ashamed to admit how long it had been since this room had graced itself with her presence or something like that, did it matter?

So this morning, she had made a point to let all of the Brat Pack know that today she would be busy, today she had things to do and they did not consist of plotting and planning with the rest of them. Other things had to take importance with her, and right now this did. She was so disgusted with herself for letting herself go so long without doing this, it was just plain gross that she would do that. Day after day she had been taught to do this. Day after day for her whole life she had done this until Kalona had distracted her from her goal, distracted her from what she had been trained to do since she was eight, when the accident had taken her off of horseback riding.

She had slid out of bed this morning, careful not to disturb her sleeping black panther cub who had curled up on her feet as usual. Cris dreaded the day that Chii wouldn’t be able to keep doing that, she was getting so big lately and it was upsetting to think that soon she wouldn’t be Cris’s baby anymore. No, that wasn’t true actually, the cub would always be Cris’s baby, it was just a matter of how big she was, not who’s she was. Because Chii would always be hers and Cris would kill anyone that tried to take the cub away from her. Cris was a mama, protective til the end, and she had been since she had met Chii’s eyes in the zoo that day and knew that little baby, no bigger than a house cat at the time, was meant for her, that she had chosen her. It had been fun sneaking the baby out of the zoo.

She shook her head, dispersing the memories, she had work to do today that had nothing to do with being sentimental. Especially considering Cris wasn’t one for anything sentimental, sappy shit turned her off in the worst way. Anyway…she pulled her red and black hair back into a high ponytail, high enough to catch her bright red bangs as well, so they wouldn’t fall in her face. It was slightly prep-ish but what could she do? She needed to keep it the fuck out of her face, and that was that in the end of it. Whatever. She pulled on her shorn off sweatpants, that magically were missing the legs below the knee, making them sweat-Capri’s? Whatever. She pulled on a tank top, pocketed her iPod, the only piece of electronics she bothered with. She debated for a moment whether or not she wanted to bother with shoes, but in the end smirked a bit and left without them, since when did she ever bother with shoes. Was that even a question?

But now that brought her right back full circle to where she was. Where was she exactly? She was in her room in the rec room. And yes, she did mean her room. She had broken a rule or two to padlock the door so that way only Cris would be able to use said room. It was perfect and she didn’t want some assholes using it for a party and wrecking it. The floor was the best part really, it was thinly padded, thick enough to cause some cushion if she fell, but thin enough that it didn’t hamper her movement. The mirrors along one wall helped as well, and it had an iHome built into the wall that made using her music perfect. It was perfect and with her luck some ass would come in one of these days and wreck it by spilling alcohol on the floor or something equally stupid.

She padded over with bare feet on the padded floor over to the only electronics she really knew how to work well at all. Scrolling through the menu on her iPod, she came to her “Gymnastics” playlist and hit enter. It was full of music the BP would laugh at her about if they knew it existed, but she needed these beats, needed them to make all her moves hit right. Sadly, most of her music for her sport was preppy, because the sport was usually pretty damn preppy. But she used it for things that were far from preppy of course. Like keeping herself agile, kicking ass, all of that lovely stuff.

She waited until the actually beat for Shove It by Santigold came on before she took a deep cleansing breath, raised her hands over her head, and flew into her routine. It wasn’t her usual one. No she was just doing the basics today. Just to get her back into the swing of it. She would increase her difficulty as it went if she was happy by how well she was doing. Chances were she wouldn’t be, but oh well. Cris was rarely happy with anything she did.

She did an aerial and cursed softly as she landed, not pausing of course but mentally she started berating herself. Feet weren’t high enough. She went into the next move, her back handspring and winced mentally at how off that was. Hands were too wide apart, lucky you didn’t fall. She was too far out of practice. How had she allowed herself to fall this far out of practice? Her movements were shoddy, they were wrong. Not right. Go again, make it perfect. Make it perfect. She had to be perfect and she wasn’t. Though, to an outsiders perspective, Cris’s movements were flawless and gravity defying in the way she twisted her body and the way her limbs were so perfectly poised and positioned.

To her it was all wrong.

Suddenly she was eight again.

The tiny brunette, for that was her natural hair color after all, flew across an expensive gymnasium. A small light blue leotard showed off the fact that she had no real curves to speak of, especially at eight, but because of this sport they’d never develop properly. She didn’t care and she never would. The tiny hands and feet tried so hard to do it, but she kept falling. She kept falling again and again…

”Wonderful Aria” said a brisk voice dripping with sarcasm as she watched her youngest daughter go. ”The other girls are way past this, and you can’t even get it down once!”

The little girl fought the tears that always threatened to come and did it again, mumbling perfect over and over again to herself. She needed to get it right, she needed to be perfect. She needed to do this for her mother, maybe than the woman would be proud of her like she was proud of Phillip, and Mellie, and Darla…

She did it right and beamed, happy with herself, stopping and turning to face her mother, with whom she shared no common looks in the slightest, beaming because she had done it right, she had been perfect. The woman had smiled, a brief gesture that had the little girl shining on the inside. But then she told her to do it again. The young girl had sighed…everyone else had gone home so long ago…

Cris pushed the memory out of her head, distracted by the image long enough to fall and she slapped the ground hard. She rolled, hitting it hard on her shoulder, the floor that is, hard enough that she cursed and sat there for a moment, with her knees pushed up to her chest. She hadn’t done it right, she had fucked it up. What else was new? It had been too long since she had practiced. She hadn’t done it right at all…what was wrong with her that she couldn’t do something she had mastered when she was eight?

It wasn’t right, she couldn’t do it right… No one really knew how much her mother’s need for perfection had managed to affect Cris, along with all the other bull shit that had occurred through out the seventeen years that she had lived. But it had, it had impacted her so horribly that it ran pieces of everything she did. Everything she did was critically assessed in her head. If she tripped, if she landed a punch weird, if she got a question wrong, it all went in her head as wrong

You’ll never get it, Aria, will you? I suppose this is what I get for having a fourth child Her mother’s voice rose unbidden to her mind. Her mother had never supported her, she had never been perfect or right in her mother’s eyes. The other three were better, they always did so well and always got their mother to smile and be happy, Cris never could. She could always fuck it up and make her mother mad. She always got to go to the Thinking Room for hours on end instead, which had caused Cris’s panic attacks now every time she didn’t think she was doing something right, or every time she let herself get too scared, or every time her phobia happened to trigger. It was so screwed up, she was so wrong, so wrong. Her mother was right…

She frowned and stood. Her mother was not right. Not at all. She had to remember that, she had to push thoughts of that woman away form herself, out of her head. As far as she could manage. She would not focus on that woman, she didn’t need to worry about her, she wasn’t important, not anymore. The song changed to one that made the smirk start twisting on to her lips again. Kiss with A Fist by Florence and the Machine. It wasn’t her usual beat but before she had been irresponsible and had stopped for a while, she had been starting to work on this beat instead. She liked this song, it fit her. Love with a bit of a bite, a bit of a bitch but she was good to those that deserved it. Not many people deserved it in the Ice Bitch’s eyes.

She nodded her head to the beat, spreading one foot in front of the other, holding her head high and keeping her expression carefully blank. She raised her hands over her head, carefully shoulder width apart. She turned her hands out, fingers splayed, wrists slightly bent. She nodded to the imaginary judges, such was the fact that she had been doing this for too many years, some things were just habit. She would just do small things to build up her confidence again before she lost it to falling again. She lowered her arms, took a slight running start, and started doing front hand springs across the length of the room that she was currently in. It was enough to do a decent amount without even needing to pause once. It was safe to say that Cris was the best gymnast in this house. She had been doing it since she was six after all, but there was no way that Cris usually saw herself this way. She usually saw all the little things she did wrong.

Not with front handsprings. Or walking on her hands. That she could do til she was blue in the face from being upside down.

Aria had tugged her mother all the way over to the gym and for once the woman had listened to her daughter, wondering what the eight year old wanted now more than anything else. She had been pestering her mother all day, and being that Aria was home all day because her tutor hadn’t been able to come today, that had literally been all day. Eventually the heiress had relented in order to drive the bouncing young girl to the gym. Aria was happy, so happy.

She needed to show her mother! Than her mother would be happy. Her mother would be proud. She wanted that more than anything.

She turned on her music and walked over to where the floor events were held. Floor was her favorite. She could, and still did, beam better than the rest of the equipment, but it was floor where she was starting to shine, because it let her fly, it let her be free. She waited a moment for the proper beat…and then she took off. She flew, front hand springing across the entirety of the whole gym! Not once did she mess up, not once did she put her hands or her feet wrong.

And just to show off, the last two were front flips, no hands required.

She heard clapping as she stood there out of breath and started laughing. Her mother. Was clapping. For her. For her. She smiled, turning back to her mother who was walking towards her. ”Amazing Aria” she said, and then she said the word that Aria was always longing to hear with all her might. ”Perfect” Aria had beamed at her mother as the woman had kneeled near the, then tiny, girl to put a hand to her cheek.

”You still can’t do them backwards though, can you?” She asked and Aria’s face fell slightly. Dammit, no she couldn’t. She couldn’t not yet. The idea actually scared her. To go backwards.

”But Mommy I--! she started but the woman put a long finger to the little girl’s lips. And shook her head, the smile was still there, Aria was confused now.

”That’s fine Aria. But you can’t let fear of the unknown keep you from getting better, Ri” the woman said, calling her youngest by the nickname that her other children called the little girl.

Cris shook herself from yet another of her memories. She had just noticed then that she had gotten to the other side of the room, and she had done it perfect, she hadn’t messed up once, just like the other day, just like that day when her mother had actually been proud of her for once. It didn’t happen all that often, at the time the young girl had treasured it. She would never admit it but Cris still did.

The sarcastic bitch, who was the way that she was now in part thanks to the way her mother always treated her as a child, smirked, one half of her lips tugging up as she thought. She may have been a wimpy child than, but she wasn't anymore. No, now she was so much more than the mouse she used to be. Fuck yes. No one would slow her down ”The unknown can kiss my fucking ass she said with a grin, and then showed off what she had learned and perfected a year later.

And did perfect back hand springs all the way back to the other corner.

It was then she noticed someone else in the room. Fuck, how long had she been watched? She was breathing heavy and picked up a water bottle she had taken with her, taking a long swig to get her air back before she spoke to the other person. She didn’t like anyone, not even her friends watching her.I don’t give free shows” she said with a little smirk.

Words: 2804 FUCK YES BEAT MY RECORD
Muse: Duh, epic
Comments: I've had this post in my head for a while
PLEASE Don't try to match my word count
I was just trying to beat my record
And I did.

[Miyuki Tsubasa]

[atrb=cellSpacing,20,true][atrb=border,0,true][tr][atrb=width,390px][atrb=valign,center] [style=background: url(http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af202/SKKEI-2010-/Gray_by_kazzoom.jpg); width: 468px; padding: 3px 3px 3px 3px; text-align: center; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 22pt; color: #202020; text-shadow: #BAB6B7 3px 3px 0px; margin-bottom: -2px; border-radius: 8px 8px 8px 8px; -moz-border-radius: 8px 8px 8px 8px;]I keep on fighting.. [/style] [style= background: #858384; border-bottom: 2 px solid #f5f5f5; font-family: georgia; italic; font-size: 6pt; color: #F5F5F5; text-align: center; text-indent: 15px; letter-spacing: 2px; width: 348px; padding: 3px 9px 3px 3px; margin-bottom: -2px; border-radius: 8px 8px 8px 8px; -moz-border-radius: 8px 8px 8px 8px;] but lately I lack a reason to continue on with my life.[/style] [style=width: 200px; height: 120px; background-color: #C4C2C3; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; float: left; padding-right: 10px; font-family: tahoma; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; opacity: .9; -webkit-border-radius: 10px 10px 10px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 10px 10px 10px 10px; color: 000000;] TAG; Cris WORDS; 2770. And no, I didn't try to beat your word count, the tattoo shit was just long lol OUTFIT; Read Post CREDITS; Kei of SA TT and OTE[/style] [style= border:2px; background:url(http://i731.photobucket.com/albums/ww313/Dark_Earth_Flower/yuuiie.jpg); height: 100px; width: 100px; border: #8A8788 2px solid; -moz-border-radius: 100px 100px 100px 100px; border-radius: 100px 100px 10px 10px; float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 11px; line-width: 100px;] [/style] [style=background: url(http://i731.photobucket.com/albums/ww313/Dark_Earth_Flower/yuuiee.jpg);height: 100px; width: 100px; border: #8A8788 2px solid; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 10px 10px; border-radius: 100px 100px 10px 10px; float: right; margin-left: 2px; margin-right: 6px; line-width: 3px;] [atrb=style,background:url(http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u76/Nightmare-san/Background/crazyb.gif); opacity: .75; width: 450px; height: 520px; border:5px #8A8788 solid; -webkit-border-radius:10px 10px 10px 10px; -moz-border-radius: 10px 10px 10px 10px; padding: 10px;] [/style] [style= margin-top: 90px; font-size: 10px; font-family: helvetica; background: #999999; font-color: #000000; opacity: .8; padding: 7px; width: 460px; height: 250px; overflow: auto; text-align: justify; border: 2px solid #4F4E4E;]The killer fucking doll was pretty damn fucking happy with herself today. Why? Because she had just spent the last few hours getting a few new tattoos... Well, two new tattoos and an addition to one of the ones she had before, actually. That made her tattoos up to...5. She had 5 tattoos all together and she wanted two more. She would only be satisfied with her ink once she had those last two. Miyuki didn't get ink done for no reason after all, every stinking tattoo she had possessed some sort of significance. She could name them all. The very interesting tribal design of some sort on her left arm signified her first taste of freedom. Something she had gotten done just a bit before she was sent to the Tulsa House of Night, the same day the cops had busted her personal hell to splinters. On a more saddening note, it also marked the day she was completely alone for the first time in her life, or... it marked the first day she was completely alone in her whole life. She had spent all her life only being separated from her triplet siblings for no longer than a few hours. To be without them for a whole day for the first time had been... difficult. It also marked the last day Miyuki had seen Colby for quite some time, before he was transferred to the Tulsa House of Night. The bat wings that stretched across her shoulder-blades had once been completely black, but now, it's “bone structure” was red. Written under it in a fancy script was the words “Itur in cornibus celerem vindictam.” which was latin for “ Vengeance travels on swift wings.” Miyuki liked it, it seemed fitting to her. The very fact that it had been a tattoo forced on her at such a young age by those who tormented her, but now changed into something she truly liked, she thought that said something. She just... couldn't figure out what exactly that something was. But it would come to her! ... Eventually. The tribal design tramp-stamp with the red flower on her lower back she had gotten the same time Raea had gotten her first tattoo may have seemed splur-of-the-moment, and for the most part, it kinda was, but at the same time it had it's own meaning. Like the tattoo on Miyuki's arm, it was a marker. It marked a point in her life when she was honest to the gods above, truly happy. With the way her life usually went, that truly was something that should be marked down. And then there was her dragon. With it's tail at the top of her left foot, it's long, scaly body winding itself up her left leg all the way up to her hip, where it's head was nestled. That was the tattoo. The dragon was silver and white with blood red eyes and curling black talons. A Chinese dragon of course, because a European one just didn't have a body that would stretch long enough. Going down the dragon's body in a thin black, if you looked close enough, one would see “すべてのオッズがさらに行われると、すべての債務は血で支払わされるまで、休息を決して” which was Japanese for “ never to rest till all odds are made even and all debts are paid in blood.” Miyuki's promise to herself. Such a vengeful thing, she was. She knew the world wasn't fair, her very life and some of the lives of some of her friends had been testament to that statement, but it still angered her like none else when things weren't fair. It wasn't right! No, nothing in life was truly fair, but Anyone who crossed Miyuki would damn well have the hammer of vengeance brought down on their heads. Because she didn't care if life wasn't fair, she would make it fair, starting with everyone involved with making her life the living hell it truly was for so very long. That thought brought a smile to Miyuki's lips. That's right, once the change was over and done-with, Miyuki and Colby were going to hunt down every last rat bastard that was one of their childhood tormentors and kill them all. They had talked it over once long ago and Miyuki had never forgotten this. It was the plan and Miyuki rather liked this plan. As long as she didn't kill anyone for no reason for the rest of her fledgling life, the two of them would go spend some quality time killing the people who hurt them as children. It sounded great to Miyuki. She just had to keep a level head and hang in there for.. what, a bit over a year? She was just barely hanging on at the moment, there were always so many little jerks just asking to be slaughtered, and Miyuki would always be so happy to oblige if only it weren't for the plan. Ah well, it would be worth the wait, hopefully. Somehow, that line of thinking brought to mind the reasoning for the small tattoo on the side of her right calf. Her triplet brother and sister, Roxas and Mayumi, one dead and one still living, one she couldn't even remember for reasons unknown no matter how hard she tried and one she was now more than ever protective of. Those two would always be a part of her, even though Roxas was dead and gone and lost to her and her memories now, he was still as much of an important part of her as was Mayumi. So she had gone and gotten a special tattoo in honor of the two of them. One she thought was more fitting than anything anyone could possibly think of. They were two hearts, side by side. One was badly broken and seemed to be glass with black wings in a resting position on either side of the glass heart, as if they had sprouted from the back side of the damaged heart. However, despite how broken the glass heart was, it was not shattered. It still held it's shape, still entirely recognizable. The other heart appeared to be pure gold with a beautiful and very girly/feminine flowery vine design engraved into the heart's surface. On either side of this golden heart, in a resting position, were a pair of white angel wings. As if they had sprouted from the golden heart's backside as the black wings had sprouted from the glass heart. There was so much more symbolism in that very tattoo than Miyuki would ever realize. So, so much. From the near shattered state of the glass heart to the pure gold one, it had more symbolism than any other tattoo she had, as well as more meaning. It was the most important so far, though the two she had yet to get would rival this tattoo. She had two more tattoos she wanted, and she knew their locations and what she wanted them to symbolize, she just couldn't for the life of her think up a suitable design for either of them. They had to be perfect after all, they had to be more than perfection in order to truly live up to what she wanted them to symbolize. One was a sleeve tattoo to go down and cover her right arm as the dragon took up her left leg. She wasn't quite sure what it would look like, but she wanted it to have symbolisms of all her closest friends. She wanted it on her arm because they were around each other so often, worked together so well to be without them, to separate them, you might as well take off her arm. She would be able to manage, but she would be lacking greatly without them. They had become that important to her, and to be honest, that somewhat scared her. However, as much as she refused to ever admit it, none rivaled the importance to her than the one person in the school whom had grown up with her and wasn't one of her siblings held in her heart. Whenever she thought about him, a quote she had heard once, though she couldn't remember were, popped into her mind “What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?” To Miyuki that statement was beyond true. In Miyuki's eyes, Colby truly was the best part of her, he brought out a side of her not even her sister could manage and even before they had imprinted, to be without him for too long always hurt a throbbing ache that nothing could truly cure. She just... there were no true words to describe it. She loved him. She honest to the gods above loved him. And there was no image she could think of, no symbol of any kind that would give true force to her feelings. But she was trying to find something that could possibly symbolize what she felt in the most perfect way none the less. The tattoo would go on her neck, and not just because that was the main general location he always bit her, but because the neck was such an important part of the body. The top of the spine was there after all, the connections that connected the brain to the rest of the body. It was one of the most ideal places to land a hit in a fight and it's sheer importance had deemed it the perfect spot in Miyuki's head. Not to mention it wasn't cliché as it would have been had she decided it to go over her heart instead. No, the neck really was the perfect place for the tattoo. Because it wouldn't truly kill her to be without him, but still, without him, she might as well be dead. These wonderful works of art on her skin were the reason she was trying so hard to stop herself from laughing. It all just made her so damn happy she wanted to laugh. For a moment, she wondered if Colby could feel a shadow of the pure joy radiating off her at that moment, then seconds later decided she didn't much care. However, none whom she passed were able to figure out why on earth the Killer Doll was so happy. This was because her beautiful new beauties were being carefully covered up. Black knee-high boots covered the twin hearts on her right calf and the long dark jean pant-leg of her strange pants/shorts mixture covered the dragon on her left leg completely as well as the leg part of the boot on her left leg. There wasn't very much of a pant-leg on her right leg however, it had been chopped off to be a pair of shorts on that side. Her bottoms today quite literally were half shorts and half pants. And Miyuki rather liked them and the oddity that they were. Her top was one of her usual corsets, and her long waist length hair swayed with the bounce in her step. Where was she going? Miyuki honestly didn't know, she was letting her feet guide her. She probably would have headed down to the hideout, but today everyone was off doing their own thing, that was why Miyuki had even bothered to go out and get new tattoos. But now that was done and Miyuki had nothing to do with no goal set in mind. Where exactly were her feet taking her, she wondered, to her sister maybe? Or possibly Colby? But nope, neither of those were right as she soon found herself wandering the Rec Hall. Soon enough, at a door and opened to see none other than her unofficial twin at her gymnastic routines again. Miyuki almost laughed out loud at the sight. Not because it was funny of course, but because this had been exactly how the two of them met. That one day that seemed like so long ago when Roxas... yes, yes it was Roxas whom had stolen her iPod for the day and that group of preppy sluts had chased her out of... somewhere with their irritating music, and she had followed the sound of music yet again, which had led her straight to this very room, this very spot Cris had claimed as her own to work on her gymnastic routines. Ah yes... it seemed like forever now. How long had it truly been? Miyuki didn't know, but it was also the very place the duo had plotted out their first big prank just seconds after meeting. Memories. Memories and symbolisms, today seemed to be chucked full of them to Miyuki. But that was okay, because it was all good so far. Nothing painful to recall... and hey, maybe when Cris was done her practising, she could think of the perfect designs Miyuki was looking for! It was Cris after all, the one person in the world who was near exactly like her in every way, and in every way they were not exactly the same, they were completely opposite. It was kinda funny how that had worked out... but it had. Miyuki supposed fate wasn't such a bitch after all. The music playing from Cris' iPod though.. Miyuki had half a mind to question her on it, while part of her wanted to tease her best friend about it, and yet, the part of her she was actually going to listen to told her to not even mention it. So she wouldn't mention it, because there was probably reasoning behind it she didn't know and it wouldn't be right to mock her closest friend about something so infantile, not even a slight teasing. “The unknown can kiss my fucking ass.” She heard Cris say, the very sound of her voice alone told Miyuki her twin was grinning. Well, it was good to know Miyuki wasn't the only happy one today, it always did make her a bit happier to know her friends were happy. And then Cris took notice to her presence, acknowledging her with the short line of “I don't give free shows.” Miyuki let out a short laugh before replying. “No, you never did, did you?” she asked with a teasing grin before walking further into the room. “So, this what you ditched us all day for? Should I be offended?” She teased. No, no comment on the music, but she was Miyuki, she was bound to tease. She laughed then, grinning widely. She wanted it to be a surprise but... Nah, she just couldn't keep shit from her twin. It never happened. With a big grin on her face, Miyuki announced. “I got new tattoos, and I love them. I want two more but I can't for the life of me figure out what to get.” She stated before shaking her head. No! Bad topic! She did soooo not just walk in here to blab about her new tattoos, dear gods, the happy was infecting her mind. Not good. “Urgh, sorry, on a happy high, not necessarily thinking straight.” laughter danced in her words, demonstrating the happiness that currently filled her. It was so rare for her to be so very happy, but it was nice none the less. A pleasant change. “It just... Kinda amused me, that exactly that was how we first met, or... near exactly that, because you didn't fall on your ass when you noticed me and I'm actually in a good mood when I followed your music here.” smiling with her words... yes, that was right. She grinned once more, All too happy, all in too good of a mood, She half wanted to bounce with her happiness to be perfectly honest, but that would be weird. Then a thought passed through her mind. Shiiiit, damn she really WASN'T thinking today, was she? Cris wanted to be on her own today and Miyuki was bothering her, great job, Ki. Just fucking wonderful. Damn she was stupid. “Oh, riiight, sorry, you wanted to be on your own today. Want me to scram?” She asked. She was perfectly fine with wandering off if Cris didn't want her to stick around. It wouldn't bug her, she would probably go find one of their other friends... or better yet, taunt her boyfriend about the new tattoos. The latter sounded like the most fun.

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[Crissatha Pandora]

Cris knew that her old instructor would have a heart attack if she could se Cris now. However, of course, back when she let her instructor tell her what to do she had been Aria Isobel Phasee, not Crissatha Isobel Pandora. So no, she didn’t give a fuck what she would have thought now, but it was kind of funny to stop and dwell on that. What the woman would have said had she been able to see the young woman now. Of course she would applaud the fact that Cris even still practiced every day.

At least, Cris hoped so. She had missed the past few weeks, but usually Cris was in here each and every day practicing until she could barely stand anymore. She was very dedicated to the sport which had granted her the agility that had probably saved her life more times than she could count. It was funny that she had only started doing this sport because another one had been taken away from her. She paused to think about that as she took a long swig from her water in an attempt to replenish what her body had been sweating out.

Her breath was heavy too, but that was fine. She couldn’t die from that as far as she knew. Did she even really need to breathe anymore? When she was technically dead? She wondered for a moment before entirely pushing that thought out of her head with a shake of her head, her hair swaying in the ponytail she had bound it into to keep it out of her way. She would need a shower later. Her hair was a damn sweaty mess and was probably full of knots and she was lucky she hadn’t dyed her hair recently or it would have been color as well that was dripping down her back and onto the collar of her shirt, but that was because she had pushed herself to the limit today.

Sweat was natural anyway. Cris wasn’t a preppy bitch who was bothered by the fact that she was all sweaty and shiny. She sweated when she pushed herself hard enough to feel he rmuscles burn. It was something to be proud of, not something to be grossed out by. She got this way when she had sex, when she was in Combat class, or when she did her gymnastics. Why get grossed out by it? It was a fact of life. She had a shower later, she was back to her pretty little self with her muscles still aching with the satisfying ache of a damn good workout.

But back to what she had been thinking before she had entirely went off on a tangent that had started her almost forgetting what she had been originally thinking!

It was funny that she was so dedicated to this sport, when it hadn’t originally been the sport of her choice. She had only started going into gymnastics because she hadn’t been able to ride a horse for a while and her mother wanted her to stay in a sport that would keep her winning medals and keep her pretty little body in shape for all of her mother’s rich and snobby friends. It had almost been the perfect substitute, except for the fact that she had sucked at it. Cris chuckled a bit at the memory. She had been so bad, it had taken her so long to figure out how the hell to even stand on her head for more than a second before falling over. Her limbs had been sloppy, she had flailed enough that it would have made Justin proud if she ever told him, which she didn’t intend on ever doing.

It was amusing to look back at it in a way, if she kept it light the thoughts that was. If she really thought about it, it got a bit darker, but she wouldn’t go that far if she could help it. Oh no…when she first started she had been utterly horrible. She had been…just too horrible to really think about at all. But she had loved it. She had loved it so much. When her mother had first suggested it, Aria had balked at the idea, which was unusual for the girl that, at that point, did anything that her mother asked. But she hadn’t wanted to do it! It didn’t seem like anything she could do! She wanted to heal up and get back on her horse, she wanted to get back to flying on the horse and feeling entirely free, able to let go and really run with it.

And then her mother had persuaded her to at least come down to the gym and watch one class to make sure it wasn’t what she wanted to do. It was more that she was afraid she would get shoved in the Thinking Room than she really wanted to go, but either way, she went. Her back was aching with every step, every movement of her legs pulling at the stitches that were in her back and keeping that long and wicked stretch of skin together. But she went. Unwilling or not! They watched the advanced class first. And Aria soon found herself pressed to the glass, and enjoying with rapt attention the way those girls really flew without a horse or anything helping them to do it. The way they flipped and seemed totally in control was so amazing to the young woman who had never been in control of anything.

She was only eight, but even back then she looked for ways to fly and be free as much as she still did now. Either way, she sucked in her first few classes, but she didn’t stop. Not once. Her mother wanted to put her back on horseback where she had been excelling and bringing home blue ribbons to put on the mantle, rather than the dinky trophies that basically meant “Well you tried!” But Aria fought for something in the first time in her life.

And she proved her mother wrong when she started bringing home gold medals and being praised as one of the best gymnasts in their county. Once she had mastered the back hand spring of course, which she figured she had just proved she still could do with amazing ease.

All the same, she couldn’t help but sit there and analyze what she had just done. She had screwed up that last one right there, hands didn’t come down right. In her aerial before her feet were too far apart. Her Russian wasn’t done right, her feet hadn’t been high enough there, she had looked down when she had been supposed to look up in that spot…all these little imperfections, they all flooded into her brain and made her really analyze what she had done. She couldn’t help it. It came from growing up with her mother. Unless she was entirely distracted, she was always doing this in her head: analyzing where she had messed up. It was a bad habit, but one her mother had given her. Chances were it’d never fade. Mostly because she hid it well, and if no one knew it existed, how could anyone hope to help her fix it? Exactly. SO it was with her for the rest of her days probably.

Unless Justin noticed. He knew her too well, there was always a possibility that he would notice. Then again, Lux had never noticed because she just hid It that well. So if he didn’t notice, who was to say that anyone was? Lux knew her better than anyone else, despite what some of her friends might think. She told Lux some things that she didn’t tell another soul. Ever. She sighed softly. Yeah, chances were that no one else would ever fix her. She didn’t know she was broken though. This perfection kick of hers didn’t even seem abnormal, that’s how sad it was.

She then announced that she didn’t give free shows, because she had noticed the presence of someone else in the room. She hadn’t even turned around yet to see who it could be, but someone answering that she never did made her grin a little before she turned around, taking another swig of her water to try and rehydrate herself. Her long thought process had given her enough time to catch her breath, now it was just the matter of keeping herself all nice and cool so she didn’t pass out. Cris was careful with her body, even now when it was tougher after dying. All the same. She turned towards her twin, best female friend, roommate, and grinned a bit, not saying anything more for the time being.

It was ironic that Ki would show up right here, and right now. It was almost a mirror image of the first time that they had ever met. Except the first time, Cris had been pissed off about something, so her music had been way harder and more like her usual style, and she had been so angry she had slipped up a hand hold and had landed on her damn back right in front of a chick she had never met before, it was a recipe for disaster. By all rights, Cris should have hated Ki on sheer fact that she had seen Cris slip up like that and she was female, but the other girl was far too much like Cris. Instead, the pair of them had ended up plotting their first pranks, and one of their only non-BP pranks because, due to a flaming salad, the group had formed shortly after.

They had been causing chaos ever since.

She laughed a bit when Ki asked if she should be offended because this was what Cris had ditched them all to do all day. ”Don’t, you should know me better than that. I was getting rusty, it’d been too long. Obviously, I just screwed up that entire damn routine” she said with a scowl for the padded floor she still stood on, like it was the floors fault or something like that. No, it wasn’t the floors fault, it had been her own damn fault for messing up. Not that it would have looked like a mess up to anyone else. Anyone else would tell her it was fine. She couldn’t help it though. She scuffed her bare foot against the faded blue of the thinned out cushioned floor under her feet and blew a piece of sweaty blood red bang out of her damn face.

She should probably get someone in here to replace the floor and make it more springing for her. She really should be doing all this on a spring loaded floor. It was really bad for her ankles to do it on a padded and non-spring loaded floor. But she had gotten so used to this floor. She toyed with the idea momentarily of asking Mellie to pay for them to do it. Mellie would probably do it too. The woman loved when Cris asked for things because Cris did it so rarely. And because Mellie had been the one to drive Cris to most of her meets, the older sister also knew how much this meant to her. Hmm…maybe…

Her “Twin” brought her out of her thought process though when she spoke, and cause Cris to snap her head up to actually pay attention. Cris was so stuck in her thoughts and her past today, it was an odd sort of thing. She usually tried so hard not to dwell, but some days it just snuck up on her like that. She was talking about her new tats and how she wanted two more but couldn’t decide what the hell she wanted. Cris grinned a little bit at that comment. She could so help with that if she could manage to keep her thought process in the present. And then she said she was on a happy high and Cris grinned a bit and shook her head. Besides telling the unknown to kick her fucking ass, Cris was in a pretty good mood herself so that didn’t bother her at all. ”Nah, no worries. Maybe I can help you think up new ones when I’m done with my work out, kay?” she said lazily, offering her help.

Cris may be tired out for right now, but the perks of being a red and now a black meant that she was already getting ready to go again, it was something amazing and the only good thing, if you asked her, of being what she was now. She could keep going again and again if she needed to, and that applied for so much more than the physical exhertion of working out on her gymnastics or a good run around the forest. The idea of what else it was good for put a lazy satisfied smile on her face for a moment. Oh yeah, that was another perk too. Ki spoke again, and once again she was drawn from her thoughts, only this time it was a more gentle drawing, she wasn’t startled and jumping at least.

This was one reason she ahd decided to be alone today. She was having one of her space cadet days, constantly in her head or in her past.

She laughed at this Ki comment though, relaxed enough to actually laugh, that and despite memories of her past she was actually in a good mood which was surprising being that her past made her usually retreat into herself until she was no where to be found. It was a weird thing, but she wasn’t going to doubt it or question it. She would just take it happily. But the fact that Ki commented on that amused the hell out of her. ”I had actually been thinking the same fucking thing moments ago. Great minds still thinking alike?” she said with a practiced arch of her brow. The pair of them had been thinking alike since they met after all.

And then Ki remembered that Cris had actually been wanting to be on her own today. She seriously had been, but it was more because she was acting a little off and perfectionist to the max today than anything else. She didn’t mind Ki being here now that she was here though, that was besides the point. Her odd self had already accepted her twin being here, as long as Ki didn’t mind her constantly spacing out all the damn time. Cris waved off Ki’s comment, put down her water and paced back to the center of the floor. ”Nah, you can stay. Don’t worry about it, you’re here already and shit. And we can talk about the tats. Just as soon as you tell me what you think of this.” she said with a smirk as a heavier beat came on with her music.

She had just announced, before she had even known who was there, that she didn’t give free shows. ANnd she didn’t. Not even to her friends. But the fact of the matter was that she was in perfectionist mode, as she had mentioned earlier, so this meant she would probably need an unbiased opinion of her latest set of moves. She would just sit there and criticize herself to no damn end if she did it herself. She waited for the beat, spread her feet shoulderwidth apart, and raised her arms. And then waited another beat…there!

She launced herself into her new set of moves, the ones that seriously needed an unbiased opinion. And she had yet to show it to anyone yet. She did a front flip, a twist, an aerial…nothing all that special, she was just building herself up slowly, she was making herself get more momentum until…she pulled a front tuck—or three front flips in a row—and landed just how she wanted to. She grinned happily for sticking the landing, and pulled the traditional landing of her hands in the air…before deciding she felt like sitting now. She grinned in Ki’s direction, and patted the spot next to her, obviously welcoming her friend to sit because there was no damn way Cris was getting up right now. She had pulled two routines and that last trick. Nope, not getting up right now. Before Ki could move to sit with her, if she was going to. Cris held up her hand. ”Toss my water?” she asked, clearly out of breath from that shit. And then she arched her brows, in the universal guesture for “So?” asking what Ki thought of it.

Words: 2858...holy....shit...
Muse: Obviously epic
Comments: I need to cover up the word counter and write freely more often...