Dancing Thoughts (Raine's Journal)

[Raine Ashera]

Hey Journal!

Wow, I've had this thing for ages but I think it was just gathering dust for a while, hasn't it?

Well, I have a lot to say, so I figured it made sense to dig you out again so I have somewhere to say it!

I love Sephora, she's the best roomie ever, but somethings you just wanna keep to yourself, ya know? Anyway, I'm back at the House in Tulsa. Yeah, I know. I swore that I'd never go back but sometimes other things are more important I guess. Like my best friend. Besides, things in New York weren't going happy. At all. I mean, my dad even suggested I get surgery, to like remove the scars, ya know? But they're a part of me...and partially a reminder of Selene.

She died. I got scars. It would be dishonorable of me to get rid of them when I got such the easy end of the deal.

Plus there was that night...-shudders- Never again. I don't even want to write about that here. I'd rather pretend it didn't happen. Anyway, the Dream Lady came that night and told me Seph needed me. So here I am.

And this place has seriously gone to hell.

But that doesnt mean its all bad. If you know where to look I mean. I have Nightmare and I have Seph. And I found out a certain way to have a little fun. With a certain boy. Oh yum, repeat performance, please?

The one and only

Raine

[Raine Ashera]

Hey Journal

How come it's only when you think the world has finally decided to like you, and that everything is going all good and jolly and happy and fine that things start to go down hill? I know, I try to be happy all the time. Because happy all the time is good. Its better than thinking about Sellie or Mom. Or...anything like that. I dont want to think about that anymore. I still honor them, I still live for them, and I will never forget them. But I don't let the death drag me down.

I dance, I have a boyfriend, I have Seph, I have Justin who is my new fun buddy. Life is going so good!

And then daddy calls.

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know what to do. Should I tell Seph? I should. But I haven't even managed to get around to telling Seph that I come from old money! How can I...how can I explain this to her? I guess that should be the first thing I should say, right? Right. She should know that anyway. Not that I really try to hide it. She's seen my credit card and the way I don't care about how much something costs and the way I like buying things for her with Daddy's money. And my chauffeur. So...right?

Right.

Anyway, I keep forgetting to tell you what Daddy said!

My Daddy is dying.

He has cancer. They caught it early, so there's hope, but not a lot. Its a very aggressive cancer. So...I may lose the last bit of my family I had left...

Not that I really was that close to my father. I grew up only seeing him about once a month. The money and the companies were always more important. But he's still my daddy. And the last bit of my family left.

What do I do?

He said he had more to talk about with me, about the fact that I'm his only heir and stuff. But I told him I wanted to process the fact that he was dying and leaving me alone, the last Raine...even though that's not my last name anymore.

What do I do?

Oh no I'm starting to cry. I'm glad Seph isn't here...she'd want to know, or beat someone up for hurting me

But there's no one to hurt.

Oh sadness, now I'm all upset...

I think I'm going to go dance with Nightmare and try to cheer myself up.

Until next time journal...

Raine