Diary of a musician -marluxias diary-

[Marluxia]

Dear journal...

no...

Dear Diary...

Fuck no...

To whom it may ever frigging concern? To little notebook I hide under my bed like a frigging girl?

*Sigh*

I'm starting this because I really need to put my thoughts down somewhere...I really need have things to say that I'd never really say to anyone in the first place..so here goes little book...I am Marluxia hear me roar..

This place has gone to shit...THat hot girl who everyone thought was going to take down Kalona is dead so now were all basically fucked and honestly it scares the living shit out of me...

Oh and apparently another group, led by another hot girl is guna take him down, said group has my fricken best friend in it! and she doesn't look like she is ready for this...then again what do I know...She never tells me shit anymore anyway..Shes got a same sex best friend now anyway...someone with a vagina..i guess that just makes her better huh?

Fuck me man..Im jealous..I..Marluxia..am jealous...*sigh*

I'll never tell Cris that though..how can I? I'm not a weak little girl..

OH speaking of which...GIRLS ARE SO CONFUSING

sure, I can get most of them and I enjoy every second, but one second there cool with the way you work and the next second they are yelling at you for being a player or something...

Speakin of which I saw Eva, she looked right past me as always..and I did the same..Its like we don't know each other anymore...Like nothing ever happened. Fuck it. I like my single life. I like my single empty life.

Oh and Angel just wants to be friends..and I let it bother me...I'm so off my game...and I need to get back on it..Maybe Ill go find Raine..see what she's up too, cus no doubt..Cris is off with that group of kids not even thinking about me..

What ever...
how do you end this thing?

Do i just say bye?

um.. end journal entry?

Fuck it...Later.

[Marluxia]

Dear gay ass journal.

Yea, I can work with that.

I've got a lot to say again so listen and listen good..I've got so much to say that I don't even have time to insult myself for being a fag and writing in one of these damn things...okay..lets get started...

Cindy fucking secret.

I don't really care about what she had to say about me. Sure, she called me a player. But I know what I am and I'm not a player, I tell each and every girl how I am and if they choose to stay, that's there problem and my pleasure, what's wrong with that? It's not like I lie and tell them I love them and I'll be with them forever or some shit like that, so how am I a player? Exactly. Cindy can take that and shove it, she's probably just one of those girls I had fun with who wanted me to stick around. NOT MY PROBLEM.

Anyway

She was talking about Cris and her little boy toy she won't admit to having, talking about her like she's been around the block or some shit. I don't like that, Cris may not settle down often but hey, she has good fucking reasons for it which is none of Cindy's damn business but still. If she knew even half of what Cris went through then she would know to shut up. But that's what happens with gossips, they always gotta do shit like that. I'd go and talk to Cris about it if i could but hey i can never find her anymore these days anyway...what ever.


Then there's Angel.

So, sweet little Angel is fooling around with some guy, (could care less really, shes free to do what she wants) But she's also with a girl?

WTF

Okay, the girl came off all innocent but now she's with a chick? And she didn't even ask me if I wanted to join for a threesome? what kind of shit is that? -sigh-I;m not mad that she didn't tell me about her other conquests, hey it would take all day for me to tell her about all of mine. I guess I just never thought of her that way, I guess I really did see her as an 'angel'

So much for delusions and romantic notions right?

you know...

When I was younger, right before I was marked and me and Eva broke up...Mom told me that there would be someone for me. That I would find the one like she did. I believed her, Mom was so smart, I believed her until dad got home and started to ignore her like he always did. Mom sat down in the living room rocked in her chair and just sort of cried

There is no "the one" I know that, So i live my life the way I do because its better than pining, plus Im dead sexy and can get any girl...

Life is good..
yea...
Life is good..

Bye.

[Marluxia]

Dear gay ass journal,

Honestly I don't understand why the hell I Keep writing in you but hey..I'll do it...If I didn't it would just be waste of paper right?..right..

Yea that was the most lame excuse ever...but here we go..lets launch into the thoughts of me..

According to Cindy secret Eva is causing trouble. I mean she's a fucking bitch So I can't really use her as reliable source but it sounds like Eva. She's always been sarcastic and crazy but after she and I ended she became like me. I blame myself for initiating things with her anyway. -sigh- Sometimes I wonder if she is okay, or anything it wasn't like I didn't care about her, I just didn't love her. I CANT LOVE ANYONE I AM INCAPABLE OF IT. I should just wear that on of my shirts. I mean I love Cris, but that's a friend thing...I love music..and poetry but that is something different as well. what ever it totally doesn't matter.

OH

Asshole Kalona is sending us on a trip..I'm not sure why but he is. To Atlantis and I'm not complaining about it. Hot girls from the Bahamas? count me in. Raine's going that should be fun and so is Namine last i checked. I could definitely have a nice time with them or something...

Cris and I are getting better I think, I actually told her how it felt she said she would work on it..we shall see. We also made a bet, she thinks I can't commit to one girl for more than a week. well i guess I have an unfair advantage because she doesn't know about Eva and we dated for six months... i gues that just means i'm guna win. Feels nice to have my best friend back...

OKay i'm done feeling like a fag and writing in here..peace..
Oh I am taking you with me on the trip though..
Don't feel special or anything.
Whatever bye.

[Marluxia]

Hello Stupid fucking journal.

Yes, I'm abusive..Do something about it.

Anyway..I'm not even guna start off with any formalities or shit like that. Because I am fucking pissed the fuck off.

FUCK

I mean how could she have done this? I mean What the fuck? Did I do something I don't know about and she is just trying to be a bitch to mess with me?
Nah I'm not talking about some girl I'm with or something like that no. I'm talking about Cris.

I thought things were getting better...We were hanging out more and she was around to drive me crazy more often. And honestly as much as I want to kick her for most of the interrupting and annoyingness.

But she left...She left the school and went back to her mothers and everybody and there fucking mother knew before i did. She didn't even tell me! I had to find out through the fucking grape vine.

What the hell is her damn problem? *sigh* Im not even mad that mad at her really...I just wonder why she went back. Why she didn't tell me...

Sure, I would have told her that she was out of her fucking mind. That there was no way I was going to let her be around that fucking evil woman. That bitch that was her mother.

But wasn't that a good thing?

Her Mother was one of the biggest bitches on the planet.......Scratch that...her mother is THE BIGGEST BITCH ON THIS FUCKING PLANET. Sometimes I wonder if she is like the leader of the evil stepfod wives or some shit....

Anyway this doesn't matter. I'm going there tonight. That's right, I don't care if I have swing her over my damn shoulder and carry her back caveman style. She is going to come home. Tonight.

As if this isn't bad enough...I also had a run in with the freaky bird asshole known as Kalona..Fun right? He ruined one of my escapades. Whatever.

I'll write later...Maybe..Don't feel special or anything...

Fuck I hate how everything sucks nowadays...I think I might play a couple songs on my guitar before I go...calm me down ya know?

I don't wanna go over there and blow up at her. What ever reasons she had for leaving, they are probably good ones.

Because if they aren't..I am so guna kick her ass...


Alright...
Whatever..
Bye..

[Marluxia]

Dear Gay ass journal,

Mother fucking fuck.

Yes that is right. Mother fucking fuck. I don't even have time to yell at myself for being a complete fag and writing in a journal...

I just had a run in with Eva. Not alone either...Cris was there.

I was just going out for a walk ya know? I was just trying to breath in the beauty of Atlantis and what happens? I hear Cris's guitar so naturally I go off in that direction so that I can find her and hang with her for a bit. Most of this trip all I have done is slept with various women so I feel like I neglected her just a bit. Anyway!

I get there and Eva is standing right there. Talking to Cris and I fucking almost had a damn heart attack. Can you imagine? Fuck Man!! I thought I was going to fuckin freak and run the other way!!

I went in though and I played it cool . Of course Cris saw through all my bull shit and guess what. Eva fuckig flipped out on me! Making a whole big scene in front of Cris. I am so pissed and I thought I was going to shoot myself.

Look I know I wronged her. I DIDN'T LOVE HER THOUGH HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MY FAULT IF SHE WANTED SOMEONE TO LOVE HER SHE SHOULD OF CALLED QUEEN BECAUSE I AM NOT SOMEBODY TO LOVE..

that was kinda cool there...how i did that...whatever...Now I have all this explaining to do to Cris and It just sucks so bad.


FUCK FUCK

Whateverrrr....

Byeeee