Post by Crissatha Pandora on Jan 18, 2012 21:26:32 GMT -5
She couldn’t help but mope. It was so far from like her, she couldn’t remember the last time that she had moped about anything or anyone. Cris was the type of person who refused to mope. She was more the type to take a deep breath and go through it without letting it get her down. She had been through too much in her life to let anything really get to her anymore. She tried to press forward. Why? Because moping around was what her old self always did and she refused to become that girl anymore.
So this morning she had pulled herself up by her bootstraps—whatever the fuck that meant—and got out of bed with the actual intention of leaving Lux’s room and going and doing something. It didn’t matter what it was, it just couldn’t be one of two things: It couldn’t be going to class, because…well…blech. And it couldn’t be something that would put her anywhere near him. Because that was just not allowed. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He wasn’t something that she could let herself have anymore, or want anymore.
He had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want her, after all.
It didn’t matter that she had loved him, no of course not. She winced and stopped in her movements. Fuck. She had loved him, first person she had bothered to love like that, even her family didn’t own those rights, they had abandoned her. Well she still had her girls, the BP, even if they were horribly falling apart. No, she couldn’t think about that either. She bit her lip, just to feel the shock of the pain when her fangs slightly pierced her lip.
Fangs.
Fuck.
She turned to the fridge in Lux’s room and scooped out a bag of blood which she drained easily before moving towards the closet, Lux’s closet but he would forgive her. She had just managed to actually eat, which was often a chore. He was out, because she had convinced him she would be perfectly fine. And so that meant she was on her own, which usually meant she would have no will to get out of bed but she was sick of moping.
She brushed back her currently violet bangs and the rest of her dark black hair, slipped on one of Lux’s black button down shirts which she buttoned up, not bothering with a tank top that she often wore as a bra—she was small enough that no one would probably notice. And that was followed by a pair of jeans she had left here at some point when she was still changing in Lux’s room before she refused to actually leave his room. Then she nodded slightly and turned to Chii, arching a brow slightly. Cris wasn’t really speaking much, no big deal. Chii got what she wanted though and hopped up to stand near Mama who padded out of the room entirely barefoot, because Cris was often barefoot to be honest.
She liked having the ground under her feet, and despite the chill she never felt it. She was a red, it had to come in handy sometime. It meant she didn’t need a coat, that the long sleeves were enough, and shoes were more of a luxury than a necessity. It was a perk because there had a to be a perk somewhere in this whole being almost dead thing that she couldn’t really escape even though some days she really wanted to. She paused in her footsteps, realzing in the back of her mind she had just had a very morbid thought about how to escape the whole being almost dead thing. And it was a very quick way out that would stop all the pain that was constantly in her heart. Fuck. She had promised herself she’d stop thinking like that. She was stronger than this. One little break up was not going to stop her.
She popped Avenue Q on her iPod and slipped her headphones on, she liked this musical. Which was odd, because usually Cris was all about Rock and roll and not the classical stuff, she left that to Raea because it seemed like something Raea would like. But she liked Avenue Q, it was real. It was in your face. It didn’t pull punches. It was something that she could handle. It made her laugh too, with its random songs about stuff like making love, porn, if you were gay, the whole nine yards. It was supposed to make you laugh and Cris could always do with a dose of that in times like these.
Only then, it got to one of the very serious songs in the musical. The one that hit her hardest, right as she got to the Drama class room with it’s big stage. No one was around, it wasn’t a big deal. Cris shook her head. Hadn’t she said she would be staying away from classrooms today? Oh fucking well. She wanted to get this off of her chest. She nodded slightly and padded up, and took center stage in the classroom, the door was closed but someone could easily enter and she wouldn’t notice. She started to sing for the first time in two weeks.
She sang, her powerful alto belting out the words, her emotion ringing in it which made the fact that she was slightly rusty less apparent. She was just going for the emotion. Chii sat in front of the stage, watching her Mama sing and try to work through her issues, listening to words come out of her mouth for the first time in far too long. She was just putting her emotions into the words because it felt real. Her eyes were closed, the melody was in her ears, and she was belting it out and trying to get over the pain.
It was then that she finished belting it out, taking a deep breath, and it was then that she opened her eyes and noticed that CHii was no longer right there in front of her, but she had moved over to greeting the person who had been in the room with her. She had no idea how long the other girl had been there, but she knew that Chii would have greeted her right away. How long had she been belting out her heart with an audience? She pulled out a headphone and looked over towards her “Little Sister” who she realized she hadn’t seen in such a long time, since before her and Justin had…well..could you really call it breaking up? It was a damn violent break up then.
She pushed her violet bangs out of her face and nodded towards Raea. ”Hey” was all she said, softly. She wasn’t’ her usual chatty, sarcastic self who hated to say hey. She was just…her.
Words: 1314
Muse: Damn Good
Comments: Chii would have gone to meet her the second she showed up ^_^
So this morning she had pulled herself up by her bootstraps—whatever the fuck that meant—and got out of bed with the actual intention of leaving Lux’s room and going and doing something. It didn’t matter what it was, it just couldn’t be one of two things: It couldn’t be going to class, because…well…blech. And it couldn’t be something that would put her anywhere near him. Because that was just not allowed. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He wasn’t something that she could let herself have anymore, or want anymore.
He had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want her, after all.
It didn’t matter that she had loved him, no of course not. She winced and stopped in her movements. Fuck. She had loved him, first person she had bothered to love like that, even her family didn’t own those rights, they had abandoned her. Well she still had her girls, the BP, even if they were horribly falling apart. No, she couldn’t think about that either. She bit her lip, just to feel the shock of the pain when her fangs slightly pierced her lip.
Fangs.
Fuck.
She turned to the fridge in Lux’s room and scooped out a bag of blood which she drained easily before moving towards the closet, Lux’s closet but he would forgive her. She had just managed to actually eat, which was often a chore. He was out, because she had convinced him she would be perfectly fine. And so that meant she was on her own, which usually meant she would have no will to get out of bed but she was sick of moping.
She brushed back her currently violet bangs and the rest of her dark black hair, slipped on one of Lux’s black button down shirts which she buttoned up, not bothering with a tank top that she often wore as a bra—she was small enough that no one would probably notice. And that was followed by a pair of jeans she had left here at some point when she was still changing in Lux’s room before she refused to actually leave his room. Then she nodded slightly and turned to Chii, arching a brow slightly. Cris wasn’t really speaking much, no big deal. Chii got what she wanted though and hopped up to stand near Mama who padded out of the room entirely barefoot, because Cris was often barefoot to be honest.
She liked having the ground under her feet, and despite the chill she never felt it. She was a red, it had to come in handy sometime. It meant she didn’t need a coat, that the long sleeves were enough, and shoes were more of a luxury than a necessity. It was a perk because there had a to be a perk somewhere in this whole being almost dead thing that she couldn’t really escape even though some days she really wanted to. She paused in her footsteps, realzing in the back of her mind she had just had a very morbid thought about how to escape the whole being almost dead thing. And it was a very quick way out that would stop all the pain that was constantly in her heart. Fuck. She had promised herself she’d stop thinking like that. She was stronger than this. One little break up was not going to stop her.
She popped Avenue Q on her iPod and slipped her headphones on, she liked this musical. Which was odd, because usually Cris was all about Rock and roll and not the classical stuff, she left that to Raea because it seemed like something Raea would like. But she liked Avenue Q, it was real. It was in your face. It didn’t pull punches. It was something that she could handle. It made her laugh too, with its random songs about stuff like making love, porn, if you were gay, the whole nine yards. It was supposed to make you laugh and Cris could always do with a dose of that in times like these.
Only then, it got to one of the very serious songs in the musical. The one that hit her hardest, right as she got to the Drama class room with it’s big stage. No one was around, it wasn’t a big deal. Cris shook her head. Hadn’t she said she would be staying away from classrooms today? Oh fucking well. She wanted to get this off of her chest. She nodded slightly and padded up, and took center stage in the classroom, the door was closed but someone could easily enter and she wouldn’t notice. She started to sing for the first time in two weeks.
” There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back
it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.“
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back
it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.“
She sang, her powerful alto belting out the words, her emotion ringing in it which made the fact that she was slightly rusty less apparent. She was just going for the emotion. Chii sat in front of the stage, watching her Mama sing and try to work through her issues, listening to words come out of her mouth for the first time in far too long. She was just putting her emotions into the words because it felt real. Her eyes were closed, the melody was in her ears, and she was belting it out and trying to get over the pain.
There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.”
[/i][/center]And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.”
It was then that she finished belting it out, taking a deep breath, and it was then that she opened her eyes and noticed that CHii was no longer right there in front of her, but she had moved over to greeting the person who had been in the room with her. She had no idea how long the other girl had been there, but she knew that Chii would have greeted her right away. How long had she been belting out her heart with an audience? She pulled out a headphone and looked over towards her “Little Sister” who she realized she hadn’t seen in such a long time, since before her and Justin had…well..could you really call it breaking up? It was a damn violent break up then.
She pushed her violet bangs out of her face and nodded towards Raea. ”Hey” was all she said, softly. She wasn’t’ her usual chatty, sarcastic self who hated to say hey. She was just…her.
Words: 1314
Muse: Damn Good
Comments: Chii would have gone to meet her the second she showed up ^_^
